


Love like poison: Life after Cell

by Keocean200



Series: The Aftermath [1]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: 12 yr old gohan begins to get feeling for Piccolo, After Cells games shit falls apart, Bottom Piccolo (Dragon Ball), Confused and adorable Piccolo, Depressed Vegeta and Workaholic Bulma, Depressed and angry Gohan, Dominant Gohan, Drunk and womanizer Yamcha, F/M, Goku is dead, Hepful Piccolo, In Love Gohan, Kind Piccolo, Lustful Gohan, M/M, Naive Piccolo, Oblivious and selfish goku, Obsessive Gohan, Possessive Gohan, Redemed Chichi, Submissive Piccolo, Top Son Gohan, Totally Nuts about Piccolo Gohan, Uke Piccolo x Seme Gohan, Z-Fighters gotta pick up the pieces of their life, Z-Fighters lost without Goku, cynical Krillin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2020-04-12 10:27:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19130170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keocean200/pseuds/Keocean200
Summary: Goku is dead.Now Gohan must learn to live in a world without his father and take up the mantle as earth's mightiest hero!Gohan finds himself in a strange new world, where even The Z-Fighters have lost their way! Torn apart by the loss of Goku.  How can Gohan succeed when he himself is broken? With new responsibilities and new feelings for Piccolo, Gohan must find the courage to stay true to himself and fight for a love the world won't allow! Can Gohan become the hero he was born to be? Join him for the journey of a life time! As he loves, learns and grows to become the strongest in the universe!





	1. Aftermath: Gohan's despair

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, Keocean here to give you the 411 on my new story!  
> This is the first story I have ever written on here. I have been reading stories for years, ever since I was young to be honest. I have read a lot of great stories by authors who have inspired me to put pen to paper and write. I hope you like the story! I don't know if I can do Gohan and Piccolo justice but I'll try.  
> Things to know:  
> Piccolo is hermaphroditic which means he has both male & female organs. He is both. For those who are a lil slow (He got a va-jajay!)  
> This is Gohan (seme) x Piccolo (uke) story. If that freaks you out then I don't know what to tell you. 💁  
> I hope you enjoy the story. I would love feed back just keep it clean and classy!😉

 

**Part One: Aftermath**

 

* * *

 

 

It started after the Cell games.

 

Gohan stood there contemplating, wondering when his life had became such a mess. He stepped to the edge of the Lookout staring down at the earth. The Lookout had become a sanctuary of sorts for Gohan, a place of peace and solitude where he could escape and be free. 

The Lookout was the one place he could escape his mother's suffocating presence as well as the crushing guilt and agony that seemed to follow him everywhere.Gohan took a deep breath, slowly letting it out, his mind once again, taking him back to the battle that changed everything.

 

The Cell games.

 

It was in the midst of battle, that Goku decided it would be his young son, Gohan, that would defeat Cell. At the time, 11 year old Gohan had been just as shocked as the rest of the Z Fighters.That his father believed him to be ready, and strong enough to take on such a powerful enemy as Cell, filled him with both pride and trepidation.

 

Gohan had stood there, staring at his dad in shock as the rest of the of the Z Fighters muttered uneasily as unsure of Gohan's ability to take on Cell, as he was. But Goku had stood proud, confident in his decision and in his son's ability to defeat Cell. Gohan was the strongest fighter the Earth had! Goku knew that his son would prove him right and show the world his strength and hidden power.

 

Goku had no doubt that Gohan would give Cell a good fight.

 

Gohan remembered the pride in his father's voice as he announced to Cell that he, Gohan, was stronger than him and therefore capable of defeating Cell. At the beginning of the fight Gohan had stood up, taking off the cape that Mr. Piccolo had given him, and flown down to face his greatest enemy, Cell.

 

Gohan had tried his hardest to hide his fear, and the sad fact that he didn't feel as confident in his ability to defeat Cell as his father did. He fought Cell, and for a while he was losing, badly. So bad, that his father had to step back in to help along with the other Z-Fighters. They joined the fight, fighting Cell's little blue mini me's. 

 

Gohan had been sure as he fought, that his attacks would not be enough to defeat Cell. It wasn't until android 16's head was crushed, that something in Gohan shifted, something in him had been knocked free and filled Gohan with so much power that he was trembling with it! That was the day, Gohan had awaken his power and ascended to Super Saiyan 2. Even now, he could still feel the rush of power that had consumed him, so strong and intoxicating, that Gohan had nearly lost himself to the primal intensity of his ascended state. Super Saiyan 2 was a Power so limitless, that it was an entity all it's own!

 

Looking back, Gohan could not help but to think that Vegeta had been right, the power of the Super Saiyan was beyond understanding and was a force that could destroy the Universe. He shuddered, remembering the rush of absolute power that had filled him, it had been so intoxicating, that now a year later, Gohan wasn't really surprised that he had lost his head in the fight against Cell. Power like that was hard to control, and his lack of understanding and control had led to his father's death.

 

 

Gohan sighed and closed his eyes tiredly, a bitter smile slid upon his face as he gazed at the setting sun from his perch on the Lookout. The rich hues of pink and vibrant orange that filled the sky with beautiful bursts of color, did nothing to soothe his troubled soul. Gohan's mind soon took him back to his last memory of his father, the moment of his greatest failure and his biggest regret.

 

The day of his father's death.

 

Gohan, filled with the power of Super Saiyan 2, had turned the tide of battle, he had fought Cell and for a time he'd been winning. Gohan was dominating the fight, he'd had Cell beaten and desperate. But instead of finishing the fight when he had the chance, Gohan had instead toyed with Cell and treated their battle like a game. Gohan, consumed with arrogance and pride, had given Cell the chance he needed to make a come back!

 

 

He would never forget staring up at his father Goku as he stood in front of Cell, two fingers pressed to his forehead, his face serious as he once again stood as the only one capable of saving the earth, no matter the cost! Gohan watched in horror as his father instant transmissioned both Cell and himself somewhere safe to absorb the full force of Cells final attack. Goku had once again protected the earth from destruction.

 

Tears fell from Gohan's eyes as he glared at the sky, wishing he could turn back time and just end Cell like he was supposed too. Then maybe his father would still be alive! But the truth was, even with the dragonballs, his wish wouldn't come true. It still hurt Gohan that his father had chosen to stay in Otherworld.

 

Goku had said that it was only because all the bad guys always came after him, constantly putting the Earth in danger, that he had decided to not be wished back. So instead of his father being wished back to life, Goku decided that staying in Otherworld instead of being wished back was the right thing to do. His dad claimed he was doing it to keep them safe and protect Earth. But it had only made Gohan believe that his father would rather stay dead than have to deal with a worthless son like him. Even now, Gohan still grieved and blamed himself for his father's death and decision not to return.

 

 

Gohan felt weak with grief as his knees buckled beneath him. He leaned tiredly against the white pillar that was positioned beside him, the only thing able to hold him up as his mind and life seemed to fall apart around him. Guilt and shame had become his constant companions, while his friends were nowhere to be found. Without Goku, it seemed as if the Z-fighters had fallen apart. Just one more thing Gohan's failure had cost him.

 

It had been a year since his father had been gone, yet Goku had never spoken to them, no matter how many times Gohan or his mother had screamed up at the sky. Both filled with grief, and rage so potent it nearly choked them! Begging Goku or King Kai to finally answer their call! Yet, they had received no answer, the sky forever silent. ****Gohan once again stared brokenly up at the sky, hoping that this would be the day his father would finally hear him and take the time to speak to him.

 

Gohan sighed dejectedly, he knew it was only a pipe dream. Goku had never cared about checking in on his family, even when he was alive! Gohan couldn't help but think that Goku didn't seem to miss them at all! To Goku, as long as the earth was safe, that was all that mattered. It never crossed Goku's mind that his family may need him or simply want him to come home to be with them.  He never did understand that Gohan needed his father or that Chichi needed her husband, Goku was content to train his afterlife away with no cares for the family he left behind.

 

Gohan snorted in disgust, filled with self-loathing "You thought I could beat him dad, you thought I was good enough. But all I did was fail you and let you down." He whispered filled with pain as he spoke toward the sky.

 

The silence surrounding Gohan made him realize how alone he was, who could understand his pain? Who could understand how broken he really was? Gohan put on a show for the others, always pretending that he had it all together, when he didn't. That he could step into his father's role, and be worthy of being Earths defender when really it was all just a lie. Gohan had become an expert at pretending.

 

The Lookout was the silent witness to the grieving warriors pain, the hallowed halls had seen many such moments.

 

The wind blew gently caressing Gohan's face as he watched the day turn into night. Stars glittered brightly as he sat, a silent guardian watching over the Earth. The place he had vowed to protect, the planet his father gave his life for. He knew his father, Son Goku, would be alive today if it had not been for him. He had been a fool and because of his foolishness his mother had lost her husband and his little brother was growing up without a dad.

It made him sick to think about it, to even be around them because he knew it was all his fault. His father had believed in him. Had chosen him to fight Cell and even though in the end Gohan had defeated Cell, it had come at the cost of his father's life.

All Gohan had to do was deliver the finishing blow that would end Cell's reign of terror, but because of his stupidity and arrogance his father, Son Goku had paid the price.

 

Thoughts like that ran through his head Like a mantra, a Never-ending truth that screamed through his mind every time he held his little brother, knowing he was the reason Goten would grow up without a dad. It killed him every time he looked at the little baby that had his father's face.

Every time his mother, when she thought no one was paying attention to her, would get a lost and devastated look on her face. Every night his mother would cry herself to sleep, blaming herself for her husband not being there, choosing death rather than be with his family.

That was why Gohan came to the Lookout, it was his sanctuary. The only place he could go to avoid the guilt, the pain that followed him everywhere. It was the only place he could avoid the eyes of his family he had ruined. Because Gohan had broken his family and he did not know how to make them whole again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *


	2. My only friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we finally get to see Piccolo! Stay tuned guys, because your going to see just how awesome and wise our green namekian can be! Kisses!

 

* * *

Piccolo had been meditating by the waterfall.

He had just finished training earlier and needed to center himself from his intense workout. Since the defeat of Cell, Piccolo had been training nonstop. Strengthening his body as well as his mind for the next threat to earth. He sighed as once again his thoughts went to the chaos left in the wake of Goku's death.

Goku's death changed everything.

The other Z-Fighters had become lost, incapable of moving on or imagining a world without Goku. Even Vegeta, who seemed to have lost his competitive edge and drive to fight, was listless and depressed, though he tried his best to hide it. Bulma hid herself in her lab, the bluenette never leaving, caught in her quest to stop any future Android attacks from happening.

Krillin had taken Android 18 and gone back to Kame house, he had become bitter, his typical humor now sarcastic and cruel. Tien and Chiaotzu both left without a word. They had fallen off the map, no one knew where they were. Yamcha had become an alcoholic, drowning his grief with booze and women to numb the pain.

It seemed to Piccolo that the world had become a much darker place without Son Goku.

A year had passed since Cell's defeat and Goku's death. In that time, Piccolo had started training again. He had decided that he needed to step up his game and be ready for whatever threat that came their way. He knew that the rest of the gang had taken Goku's death hard, but the hardest hit had been Gohan and his mother. He worried for Gohan. His young protege could hide how he felt from others but never from him.

Piccolo, like the others, had been saddened by Goku's death. But unlike the rest, he had accepted it, for it had been the Saiyan warrior's choice.

His only concern with Goku's decision was Gohan, though he accepted Goku's choice it did not mean he agreed with it. He felt Goku had been too impulsive and had not thought about the consequences of his actions.

Goku may have thought he was doing the right thing by protecting the earth from future enemies but he had also hurt and broken his family and friends. They were the ones left picking up the pieces of their shattered hearts. His careless decision had hurt them all and Piccolo could see that things would never be the same again.

Piccolo sighed tiredly as he stood up from his meditating position. He stretched his long limbs, the deep green of his skin shining in the sunlight. The soft bubbling of the brook and splashing of the waterfall filled him with peace.

Piccolo did not favor many things, as a warrior, he focused on fighting and getting stronger.

But the waterfall had to be his favorite place. The Waterfall held significance in his life, it was the one place where he could be at peace but it was also the one place he had always been safe. During his lonely and turbulent childhood, before he had aged himself, he had been small and weak. To live in a world where you were the only one like you, where your green-skin made you enemy number one! The world still hated and feared his sire, King Piccolo Daimao. He had learned early on that the world had no mercy for the weak and had done everything he could to age himself as quickly as he could.

The waterfall had been his refuge, his place of safety, so he always made it a point to come pay homage to the place that had sheltered him before he had become the feared and powerful Piccolo Daimao jr: proud Z-fighter, warrior and protector of earth.

Piccolo quickly took to the air, leaving his oasis behind as his mind sensed Gohan's turbulent emotions. He cursed Goku once again as he headed to fix the wreck that Gohan had become. He flew towards Kami's lookout. The day had slowly turned to night as the stars illuminated the night sky, the tiny lights leading the way to Gohan.

The Lookout was in the distance, standing high above the clouds the perfect place for a god to rest his head or a saiyan to mend a broken heart. He slowly touched down, feet gently resting on the ground as he made his way to the area Gohan occupied.

He stopped as he stared at Gohan, his body illuminated by the stars, his face in shadow. "Its been a while Mr. Piccolo." Gohan suddenly spoke breaking the silence that surrounded them. He did not turn, nor look at Piccolo but continued to gaze at the stars.

Piccolo stayed silent, knowing that it was sometimes better to listen than to speak. He sat down beside Gohan, his movements smooth and graceful. Neither spoke as they watched the stars, the quiet and peace enveloping them in their own private world. Mentor and student sat side by side, united together as warrior's and friends.

Piccolo, not one for idle chitchat nor small talk, faced Gohan, his demeanor serious. "You've been avoiding me Gohan" Piccolo spoke quietly, his gaze direct as he stared him down.

Gohan started, caught off guard by Piccolo's words. He had forgotten how direct and forthright his mentor could be.

Gohan sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted, everything was just too much to handle right now.

"I wasn't avoiding you Mr. Piccolo, I've just been having a lot on my plate lately. I needed some space to be alone." Gohan said, his signature Son grin firmly in place.

Piccolo rolled his eyes and snorted in amusement at the very obvious lie he'd just been told. "Listen kid, you may have the whole world fooled into believing your fine, but I'm not buying." Piccolo stated crossing his arms as he leaned back against the pillar, watching Gohan's every move.

Piccolo looked up at the sky as he spoke, keenly aware of the person beside him, "I know I'm the last person you want to see right now, but I'm not going anywhere, I won't leave you Gohan. I know your in pain and I know you blame yourself for your father's death." Piccolo stated simply, still looking at the sky.

Gohan could barely breathe, caught off guard by Piccolo's words, that stabbed through him with the force of a knife.

He knew Piccolo was perceptive and very intelligent, able to discern things and figure out the most difficult of puzzles and problems with a deftness and expertise that Gohan had always admired. Now Piccolo was using his awesome skills to figure him out and it was making Gohan panic!

He didn't want Piccolo to know his hidden shame. Gohan never wanted Piccolo, the person he admired most in the world, to realize he was still the same weak, worthless little boy who used to cry all the time. Gohan tried to pretend Piccolo's words did not affect him, his Son grin firmly in place, as he chuckled nervously.

"Aww Mr. Piccolo, the things you come up with! I really am fine, so there is no need to worry. Yeah I miss my dad but I'm ok. I Just needed some alone time." Gohan spoke sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Hoping that Piccolo would buy it and finally let him off the hook.

Piccolo shook his head, his eyes sad as he stared at Gohan. "You can lie to the world, Gohan. You can even lie to me, but you can never lie to yourself." Piccolo stated quietly, wisdom in every word he spoke.

He gazed at the young saiyan warrior, feeling his pain as if it were his own, hating the fact that Gohan had been forced to grow up so fast. Piccolo had never wanted this for his  protege, he had always wanted the boy to be happy, now seeing Gohan like this made him wish he could take his pain and sorrow and bare it himself. Piccolo did not understand human emotions or behavior all that much, he barely understood what Depression even was! But for Gohan, Piccolo was willing to learn and do everything in his power to help him!

"You don't have to smile anymore, or force yourself to be happy on my account. I don't want a fake Son grin! I would rather have your tears and your anger, than watch you struggle through a smile. With me you can be sad, I don't want the actor Gohan, I want the real Gohan, no matter what that looks like!" Piccolo spoke seriously, his expression oddly earnest on the usually stoic face.

Gohan had been trying his hardest to hold himself together, but just like that, Piccolo was able to break down his walls and reveal the broken little boy he had been trying so hard to hide. No matter how old he got or how strong he became, Piccolo had always been the only one able to affect him like this, to break him into a million pieces and build him right up. The only one to see right through him.

Not even his mother had as much power over him!

Tears fell from his eyes, as Gohan fall apart in front of the one being he trusted and respected above all others. Tortured Sobs racked Gohan's body as he wept, the sound penetrating the silence, as it echoed the empty halls of the Lookout. Strong arms drew Gohan close, as Piccolo held him in an embrace that was nearly his undoing. For the first time in a long time, Gohan didn't feel so alone.

Piccolo held Gohan tight, understanding that the kid needed this, that he needed someone to hold on to and remind him he wasn't alone. Piccolo could feel Gohan's pain, their connection and bond forged through years of battle, friendship, and trust. He would not leave Gohan in his agony, this he vowed, for however long Gohan needed him, Piccolo would always be there.

Gohan had given him a chance, had seen beyond his green skin, fangs and talons and saw an actual person. Gohan had never treated him like a monster, unlike the rest of the world. Even when he acted like a total jerk back in the early days of their acquaintance, Gohan had always shown him kindness.

As a namekian, vows were sacred. To give of oneself was the ultimate expression of trust and regard. Piccolo would not shy away from this duty, for Gohan had earned Piccolo's loyalty, no one deserved it more.

"I'm here Gohan. Your not alone anymore" Piccolo whispered, holding Gohan tight.

Gohan was filled with warmth. The safety of Piccolo's arms had him content and as close to happy as he'd ever been since his father died. Gohan never wanted to leave the shelter of Piccolo's arms. He buried his face deeper into Piccolo's neck, the softness of his green skin and his sweet scent of rain and wild flowers almost made Gohan forget his pain and guilt. A warmth and a languid peacefulness filled him; a hug from Piccolo always did this to him. Though they were exceedingly rare, since Piccolo didn't believe in all that mushy stuff. Gohan would treasure this moment for the rest of his life, because being held by Piccolo was the greatest thing in the world.

Gohan pulled away, slowly, as he stared into Piccolo's beautiful, wise amethyst colored eyes. "Thank you Piccolo, I needed that hug. Your right, I am lying to myself. I just wanted to pretend that everything was all right but I guess I failed and made a mess of things." Gohan sighed, barely able to look Piccolo in the eye.

Piccolo touched Gohan's chin, turning his face up to look at him. "Gohan, hiding your feelings does not make you strong nor weak. It instead hurts you, and hurts those around you. You are not to blame for Goku's death. Goku chose his path, he chose to sacrifice himself. You are not responsible for the actions of an adult. You were, and still are just a kid, you should have never been put in that position."

Gohan shook his head, filled with denial at Piccolo's words, he stood up and began to pace anxiously. His hurried footsteps the only movement between them.

"You don't understand Piccolo! it's all my fault! If I had only finished Cell when I had the chance, dad would still be here!" Gohan screamed, shaking with rage and despair.

"Now, my mother is a widow and my brother will grow up without our dad!" Gohan whispered brokenly, overcome with guilt and shame. He knew Piccolo was trying to help him but how could he, when Gohan could barely help himself.

Gohan, filled with frenzy, whirled around, his eyes wild as he glared at Piccolo. "Look at our friends, Piccolo! _**Look at them!!**_ They are all lost without dad! They can barely function without him! Hell, Yamcha is a damn alcoholic! And all I can think, is how it was all my fault..." Gohan whispered, he closed his eyes, trying and failing to stop the tears from falling down his face, as he turned his back on Piccolo.

Piccolo stood hurriedly, knowing he needed to stop Gohan before he spiraled out of control. He moved elegantly, his steps graceful as he watched Gohan break down in front of him.  Damn Goku for leaving such a big mess! The man had really screwed things up. Piccolo could tell the kid had been rattled by his words about Goku, He needed Gohan to understand that none of this was his fault! He could not allow Gohan to go another day trapped in the never-ending cycle of guilt and despair. 

As Gohan tried to turn away from him, Piccolo stood in his path, refusing to budge until Gohan heard him out.

"Gohan, it's not your fault! Stop blaming yourself" Piccolo yelled out harshly, forcing Gohan to face him and face the truth! Gohan was not responsible for the deterioration of the Z-Fighters, all of them were the adults, not Gohan, however the other  z-fighter's chose to deal with their grief was on them, not on a 12- year old kid. Piccolo stared Gohan down, determined to destroy this notion of guilt and blame that was hurting Gohan.

Piccolo sighed, staring into Gohan's dark brown eyes as he spoke, hoping he would finally get through to the boy. "I know you blame yourself for everyone's problems, Gohan.  but I will not sit idly by and watch you self-destruct! I will stay right here and if I have to throw you off the lookout, then I will! Remember I used to throw you into mountains and everything else when you were a kid! Had to knock some sense into you, but if I you need a reminder then I will!" Piccolo threatened, his claws nearly ripping the fabric of Gohan's gi as he gripped his arms tight.

Piccolo stepped away, crossing his arms as he glared at the hard-headed Saiyan. He was fully prepared to make good on his threat, he knew that when dealing with one of the Son's a good knock on the head did wonders to get them in line. Heck, the harpy did it all the time! Kami knows that that was the only way to get Goku to pay attention.

Gohan shuddered, remembering that incident and definitely not wanting a repeat. He chuckled in surprise and affection, only Piccolo could threatened to throw someone off a building and call it helping. A small smile slowly spread on Gohan's face. "You really would throw me off, wouldn't you?" Gohan teased, suddenly happy that his mentor-no, _his best friend_ was with him and willing to help him.

Piccolo smirked, as he studied Gohan, noticing that the kid was not as tortured or in pain as he was before. Piccolo hoped that his words had finally made an impact on the boy.

"Yep. You like Korin right? Well I'll just throw you over to see him." Piccolo spoke sarcastically humor clear in his voice.

Gohan laughed uproariously, his eyes captured by the tall, green-skinned Namekian. His stately physique, calm nature and sweet soothing scent, had Gohan mesmerized. It always surprised him how Piccolo could make him feel so many things. A moment ago he had been filled with despair and agony. But with a few choice words from Piccolo, he was laughing and smiling again! It confused him.

Gohan shook his head, trying to ignore the strange warm feelings that had started to creep up every time he was around Piccolo.

Gohan sighed in defeat, he walked to the edge of the Lookout, staring dejectedly up at the night sky then turned towards Piccolo "It's hard not to blame myself Piccolo, so much of what happened only happened because of me. It's hard but I know your right. I'll try to do better." Gohan promised his expression earnest.

They stood facing the other, caught in each others gaze. Gohan felt goosebumps erupt on his body as he got lost in Piccolo's beautiful eyes. Sweat dripped down his face, While Piccolo stood stoic, his face impassive. The stars shined their light as the night seemed to grow darker and darker,casting shadows everywhere.

Piccolo sat down, his large build barely making a sound. He motioned for Gohan to join him, once they were both sitting, Piccolo bopped Gohan on the head. "Ow that hurt, Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan whined.

Piccolo simply chuckled. "You were being foolish, so I knocked some sense into you. Warrior's don't try, they do. And your a very powerful warrior. You don't have to face this on your own. Just reach out your hand for help and someone will always be there to take it." Piccolo's smirk swiftly became a frown as his face turned serious, "I really don't care for the mushy stuff, but this needs to be said. I will always be here for you Gohan, I don't blame you for anything that's happened. You gave it your best, that's all anyone can ask of you. I want you to be happy, not bound by sadness. You are a strong, kind hearted young man and I am proud to have been your teacher."

Piccolo turned away, embarrassed to have shown his kinder side, but for Gohan he would do anything.

Gohan was touched.

Knowing that Mr. Piccolo valued him so much made him realize that maybe he wasn't such a screw up after all.

Gohan smiled as he took Piccolo's hand, noticing the faint trace of purple on the Namekian's cheek. "Thank you Piccolo. Having you here with me has brought me so much happiness! I care about you, a lot! And I am glad that you are more than just my mentor, your my best friend. I don't think I will ever quite get over my father's death or stop blaming myself for my failure. But I will reach out my hand and as long as your there to grab it, I will be ok. I will give it my best shot, until this pain I feel is outweighed by joy and happiness." Gohan softly spoke, as silent tears fell from his eyes.

With smiles on both their faces, though Piccolo tried to hid his, they watched the stars. Enjoying the peace and solitude between them. Both ignored the fact that Gohan was still holding Piccolo's hand.

For the rest of the night, they talked and laughed together. Both getting to know each other as more than student and teacher, but as friends.

It felt good talking to Piccolo, Gohan had forgotten how funny and sarcastic Piccolo could be.

He had laughed and smiled more tonight, than he had done in a year! As Gohan listened to Piccolo talk, he couldn't help but notice how soft Piccolo's green skin looked under the stars and how enticing his rain/wild flower scent was. Gohan couldn't help but think that being here with Piccolo was the happiest moment of his life.

Today had seemed like it would be a another day of suffering for Gohan but because of a 7ft tall, green-skinned namekian, today had turned into one of the best days of his life. He knew their was much more he needed to resolve, his life was still a total mess! But with Piccolo by his side, it didn't seem so impossible. He knew that he could overcome his doubts and insecurities because Piccolo believed in him! And he would make him proud!

Piccolo watched his student, now friend, as he slept. They had stayed up all night talking. Piccolo wasn't much for communication, but like always, Gohan was the exception.

He had actually enjoyed himself, he hated mushy stuff but talking to Gohan and discussing everything had been alright. He had learned a lot about his former pupil and was honored to call him friend. He knew this would not be easy, Gohan had issues that they barely scratched the surface of.

But Piccolo was in it for the long haul, he would stand by his side till he was no longer needed. Gohan would be ok, he would become someone great, marry a woman like his mother and live a good life. While Piccolo would quietly leave Gohan's life until he was needed again. Piccolo did not feel sad that his time with Gohan was limited, his only wish was to be of use to Gohan and make him happy.

That is why he had to help Gohan heal so he could become the man, the warrior, the hero, he knew he could be!

Because Gohan's happiness was the most important of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> Gohan and Piccolo meet in this chapter.
> 
> Gohan is 12 years old and still dealing with the fall out of Goku's death. He is depressed and blames himself for the break down of the Z-Fighters.  
> The Z-FIGHTERS have fallen apart without Goku, they are so used to the Dragonballs magically fixing everything that they don't know how to cope with Goku's permanent death.  
> Piccolo seems to be the only one dealing with Goku's death in a healthy way. He alone is training and trying to help Gohan.  
> In this chapter Gohan is getting strange warm feelings around Piccolo. He is also starting to notice that Piccolo makes him happy. Gohan is still clueless on what these things mean. But he will realize as time goes on.  
> Piccolo is just happy to have Gohan as a friend and comrade. He wants to help him and stay by his side. He takes his vow seriously.


	3. Let me feel you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, Gohan is 12-years old, a time where boys start to experience puberty so some of Gohan's reactions to Piccolo are puberty based. But that is only part of it, soon we will see the effect his Saiyan instincts will have on Gohan and his growing feelings for Piccolo.

 

Gohan woke up screaming, shaking in terror.

It had been a dream, only a dream, but Gohan was still shaken. **** ~~~~

His breathing was harsh, as he tried to calm his racing heart.

His distress was palpable as he stumbled out of bed, the cold air cooling the sweat on his body as he stared at himself in the mirror.

Gohan tiredly leaned over his bathroom sink, his limbs trembling faintly, as he splashed cold water in his face. Hoping to wash away the images that were burn into his mind.

Gohan slumped down in defeat, leaning against the wall dejectedly. He knew the dream wasn't real, that it was only a nightmare, but this nightmare visited him every night! Refusing to leave him alone in peace, no matter how many times he tried to eliminate it.

Gohan had been having the same dream every night in varying intensity, since his father's death! It always started with Cell taunting him, laughing at his failure to save the world and his love ones. Cell would call him weak, mocking him with the fact that it was his fault his father was dead. That no matter what he did he would always fall short, because he was nothing but a failure.

The dream would then change, flashing to his father, who stood commandingly ready to face his death. Dream Goku would always look at Gohan with such disappointment, then without saying a word, he would turn and walk away. _**Always walking away**_! leaving Gohan behind with nothing but shame and regret in his wake.

That part of the dream always brought Gohan to tears and filled him with so much self-loathing, he was flooding with it! For the dream only echoed what Gohan already thought about himself, that he was nothing but a disappointment!

But the worst part of the dream, was when it suddenly changed and it was Piccolo dying instead of his father! And once again, Gohan failed to save him.

That part of the dream had wrenched him awake so violently, that he was still reeling from it. And now he didn't know what to do! It was like Piccolo dying to save him all over again! 

And that was a nightmare that he never wanted repeated! Not even in his dreams! Losing Piccolo once, had been bad enough! The thought of Cell killing Piccolo, filled him with absolute terror! 

Gohan stood up on shaky legs as he made his way back to his bed. He sank gratefully into its softness, his bed a welcome respite from the exhaustion filling every inch of his body. As his mind turned to his favorite namek, he couldn't help but worry. He had never dreamed of Piccolo being harmed before. His dreams had always consisted of his dad and Cell, never Piccolo.

Gohan didn't know what to think, he only knew that the image of Piccolo being harmed or dying had him overcome with fear. Just the thought of Piccolo dying or being hurt, filled Gohan with pain. He had already lost his father, and that had nearly broken him. He knew that if he lost Piccolo again there would be no turning back, because a world without Piccolo was a world not worth living in. It frightened him how intense his feelings were towards the namekian.

Piccolo was his friend, his best friend, and really his only friend. Having such feelings was not normal, nor fair to his master. Piccolo had always been there for him, a steady presence in the chaos that was Gohan's life. When the world required and took so much from him, Piccolo gave it back by only wanting Gohan to be happy. Piccolo had never tried to force Gohan to be something he was not, nor did he try to mold him into an image or ideal that he wanted him to be.

Unlike both his parents, who only wanted him to follow one of the two divergent paths that they laid out for him, either to be a scholar like his mother wanted or a fighter like his father wanted. Piccolo understood him, and wanted him to follow a path of his own choosing. Gohan had never been a fighter, unlike his father who lived for battle, Gohan had always wanted peace and lived for the quiet moments of tranquility he shared with his mentor Piccolo.

Circumstances, such as the Earth being in danger, had led to him learning how to fight and becoming a warrior. But that did not change the fact, that inherently, Gohan at his core, was a pacifist.

He knew that his father had always assumed that because Gohan was a Saiyan, that he should love fighting, but he never did. Gohan had only really fought because he needed to help protect earth and it was something he could bond with his father over.

Gohan had always known that fighting was the only thing his father really cared about, it sounded harsh, but it was the truth. Gohan had finally come to grips with the fact that he was different from both Vegeta and Goku, because for them, fighting and getting stronger was all that mattered.

Sometimes he wished he wasn't such an anomaly, that he could be all human or all Saiyan and not the half-breed he was. It sometimes felt as if he was the only one of his kind, and that he was the alien. Too different to be Saiyan and too different to be human. A freak! A being that didn't belong to either world.

Gohan sighed tiredly as he leaned against the headboard, he stared unseeingly as he gazed at the ceiling. The room was quiet around him, until he could hear the faint cries of his mother, barely muffled by the walls that separated them. Gohan clenched his fists, eyes shut tight, as the cries of his mother soon tapered off, leaving the room quiet once again. But Gohan knew that his mother was still staining her pillow with tears, as guilt once again filled him.

"Damn it! Gohan hissed. "No twelve year old should have to hear their own mother cry!" Gohan muttered roughly. He glared accusingly at the ceiling, eyes darkened with rage, at the thought of his departed father training happily without a care in the world!

"I hope your happy dad! I hope it was worth it! While your up there in Otherworld training and having the time of your life, we are left here to suffer! But I doubt you care about that as long as you can train as much as you want, that's all that matters!" Gohan whispered forcefully, overcome with bitterness.

He knew that he was talking to an empty room and that his father did not hear him, but he didn't care! Gohan needed to speak, to say these things out loud because if he kept them bottled inside he would explode!

The only time he had ever been able to express himself was a couple of weeks ago when Mr. Piccolo had confronted him at Kami's Lookout. That had been the day he had began to see his mentor in a new light.

Piccolo had listened to him, hugged him, held him in his arms and really been there for Gohan. He had been the safe-haven and rock Gohan had needed to keep him from spiralling out of control. For a long time Gohan had blamed himself for his father's death, but Piccolo had helped him see that Goku was a grown man, and had let a child fight a battle he had no business fighting alone. Piccolo had taught him that he needed to forgive himself and that he needed to express his feelings and not keep them bottled up.

Gohan had been shocked that it was the stern, taciturn, stoic, and serious Piccolo, who was advocating talking and sharing feelings. It amazed him that the namek, who was so against useless chatter and "mushy stuff" would hug him and be the one to reach out to help Gohan, especially when Gohan knew that in the past, Piccolo was so against such things, that he would rage and show his fangs in anger at even the thought of showing emotions. 

Feelings and emotions made Piccolo uncomfortable, so for him to reach out to Gohan and willingly put himself in a position that exposed him to both, made Gohan look at his mentor in an entirely new way.

A ghost of a smile filled Gohan's face as he thought about his mentor. His mind had jumped from so many things in such a short time. But-well, his mental state was still kind of delicate, but thanks to Piccolo he was slowly working through his many issues.

Gohan stood up and stretched his tense muscles. His footsteps quiet as he padded across the floor towards his desk where he kept his most prized possession, a brown leather journal. As soon as he picked it up, it was like his mind was no longer consumed by his many racing thoughts. Just having it in his possession brought Gohan peace.

This journal meant so much to him because it had been a gift from his favorite person, Piccolo.

Gohan had a tendency to get lost in his mind and Piccolo felt that with everything he had been through, he needed a healthier outlet. So after their training session, Piccolo had gifted Gohan a brown leather journal. The namekian had instructed him to write in it when he felt overwhelmed, it would help him process his feelings. Piccolo had explained that writing his thoughts down was a healthier way to express his mixed up thoughts and emotions than bottling them up.

Gohan had been ecstatic!

To receive a gift from Piccolo was a gift in itself, because Piccolo didn't put much stock in such human customs, but for him to show such unlooked for kindness showed Gohan once again that Piccolo was the kindest, most understanding pure-hearted person he had ever met. It angered him greatly when others called him a demon or thought he was bad or evil, if only they knew or could see what he sees every time he was in Piccolo's presence, then they would know what an angel looked like. Gohan held the journal to his chest reverently, he could still faintly smell Piccolo's sweet scent of lemongrass and cinnamon and not his usual rain/wildflower scent. He had learned that Piccolo's scent would change depending on what he was doing. If he was training or exerting himself, he smelled like cinnamon and lemongrass, if he was meditating or simply at peace, he let off the most soothing scent of rain and wildflowers. Gohan was fascinated by the two different scents and couldn't help but breathed the faint scent in deeply, and was nearly overcome with desire.

Gohan stood there shaking, he had never been so affected by Piccolo's scent before! Or so aroused he could break diamonds! Being only twelve years old, Gohan had no experience nor prior knowledge to go on, that would help him with his _little problem._

Gohan quickly placed the journal back on his desk and backed away from it. _As if I wasn't a freak before! It would be Piccolo's scent that would give me my first boner!_

Gohan rolled his eyes at the irony, a wry smile covering his face as he stared down at his hardened member. He sighed frustrated, as he realized his mentor would never look at him as anything but a child, even though he was only four years younger than Piccolo.

Gohan had always loved Piccolo.

He used to scream it loudly to whoever would listen, not caring if that made him weird or different. The Z-Fighters had simply smiled, thinking his words were nothing but the ramblings of a fanciful child. Only his mother, ironically, had taken him serious from day one. Chichi had probably sensed the direction Gohan's feelings would lead to and had done her best to stop it from happening.

Though he wasn't too surprised that his love for Piccolo had deepened, what had him reeling though, was his thoughts for the namekian had changed in such an alarming way, and become rather _explicit_!

Gohan hoped that his feelings would go back to the love and childish admiration they once were, but he had a feeling, that this was only the tip of the iceberg....

 _It was that damn hug! It had to be! The one he gave me on the lookout! If I had never hugged him my feelings would probably still be the innocent admiration it once was! But now I know the softness of his skin, how delicious he smells...mmhmm..._ Gohan purred, as memories of Piccolo filled his mind. Gohan shook his head, trying his best to calm his body down from his heated fantasies. _Hercule in a bikini!_ Yep that worked. Gohan looked down at his  now soft member, still embarrassed that he had gotten hard from sniffing Piccolo's scent off his journal.

Gohan picked up his journal once again, careful not to bring it too close lest he lose control once again. He grabbed his pen and began to write. He wrote down his thoughts about his complicated feelings toward father, his hatred of Cell, but most of all his secret feelings toward Piccolo.

He wrote everything down, until he had nothing left to write. He poured everything into the blank white pages.

All of his pain, confusion, and dispair went into the journal.

Gohan wrote his soul on those pages, he stared down at the words in black ink.  He felt like the burden he had been carrying for so long, was slowly being lightened.

Gohan knew it would take time to untangle the thoughts and emotions that threatened to drown him daily. But he was confident that he would make it through. Piccolo had explained that this was the first step to healing, and that Gohan was never alone. He had his friends and family behind him and they would always be there for him.

But for Gohan, he knew that as long as he had Piccolo in his corner he would make it. He would overcome his feelings of guilt and inadequacy. He would not lose! Because Piccolo believed in him and Gohan would never let him down!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gohan carries much guilt and anger toward his father, Goku. But thanks to Piccolo, he is learning to deal with it in a healthy manner. Piccolo, if you have noticed, is Gohan's anchor and most precious person. Piccolo, unlike the rest of the Z-Fighters has not fallen into despair or changed because of Goku's death. Piccolo understands that he can do nothing about Goku's sacrifice, so there is no point in falling apart, instead he devotes himself to training to get stronger and helping Gohan. 
> 
> In this story I wanted to show Piccolo as he truly is, loyal, kind, wise, and amazing. Piccolo will become the rock of the Z-Fighters, it will be him, the stoic, "demon" Piccolo that will help pick up the pieces.


	4. Chapter 4

Piccolo's body was made for him.

Gohan could do nothing but stare at the green-skinned namekian standing rigid before him.

The desire to grab him and ravish that beautiful body, filled Gohan's mind with lust and longing. They were standing in a desolate waste land, without a soul in sight, nothing but mountains for miles around, it had become one of their most frequently used training spots.

Gohan was panting in exertion, out of breath as he regarded his Master. Gohan was transfixed, Piccolo's clothes were in tatters, his gi barely covered his luscious hips and thighs. Gohan's eyes seemed to feast on the revealed skin, his gaze burning with liquid fire as he stared at Piccolo's bare chest that glistened with sweat, the sun making the liquid glitter in front of him.

Gohan knew he needed to calm down before he lost control.

That morning, Piccolo had come by his house and invited him out to train, the namekian warrior had explained that a good spar would help him assess the demi-saiyan's skills as well as his mental and emotional state.

Gohan had hesitantly agreed, but he'd known even then that coming here would be a mistake. After last nights revelations, where Gohan had realized the full extent of his changed feelings, as well as the rather risqué thoughts he held for his dear mentor and best friend, Piccolo. Gohan now knew he had only been fooling himself.

_Nothing would ever be the same again!_

Gohan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, he tried to ignore how scrumptious Piccolo looked standing there, his clothing ripped, just waiting for Gohan to rip the rest of his torn gi away from his sexy body.

Gohan fought to gain back control, as a dark feelings of possessiveness and dominance slithered through him.

 _Get a grip Gohan!_ He admonished himself, Piccolo was his friend! He refused to let these strange new feelings ruin the one good thing he still had in his life!

Last night, he had done a lot of thinking, after writing in his journal, Gohan had realized that too much had changed in his life. He had lost his dad, the other Z-Fighters had become a wreck, and Gohan had been forced to take on lot of responsibility for his mother and baby brother, more than a 12 year old boy could ever handle!

Piccolo had become the only bright spot in his life!

Gohan refused to let his relationship with Piccolo become another casualty of his screwed-up life because his feelings were so fucked up!

_Piccolo would never even look at me like that, these feelings are nothing but trouble!_

Gohan had to destroy these thoughts and feelings ASAP! He could only imagine the look of disgust Piccolo would give him if he ever found out how Gohan really felt about him.

 _If he only knew the thoughts I have for him...the dirty things I would_ **_do_ ** _to him..._

"Gohan, if your done being an unmoving statue, I would really like to get back to ramming your face with my fist! Piccolo smirked mockingly. "But please, continue to stand there, it makes punching you so much easier!" He taunted, giving the demi-Saiyan a fanged smile.

Gohan jumped, startled, so lost in thought that he'd nearly forgotten he was supposed to be fighting right now.

Gohan narrowed his eyes, Piccolo's mocking words and arrogant stance had nearly made him lose the little control he'd finally managed to gain.

 _It won't be you doing the ramming, and it most_ **_definitely_ ** _won't be my fist I use nor your face that gets rammed...or atleast not the first time. Gotta build up to that..._

The dirty thought flashed heatedly through Gohan's mind, so fast, that it left him reeling in stunned disbelief. It shook him, that he could even have such a dirty thought! Gohan blushed red all over, embarrassment filling him!

_What in the holy hell is happening to me! First a hard-on, now this!_

"Gohan, should I age myself again? Because if I have to wait on you to finally make a move, I'll be as old Kami!" Piccolo stated, frustrated with Gohan's lack of movement.

Gohan quirked a brow in annoyance, feeling a little irritated with the namekian's smart mouth and snarky commentary. 

_Oh I'll make a move alright...When I'm done with you, you'll be too damn tired to even move! Let alone act so cocky!_

_Your mouth won't be so snarky when I'm finished with it!_

_Damn it! I did it again, I'm really losing it! **Stupid dirty** **t** **houghts** **ruining my mind!**_ Gohan thought in irritation.

Piccolo stared at Gohan in confusion, he didn't understand what was going on with him, he knew the kid was still dealing with things, but that didn't seem to be the case, at least right now. Gohan's weird staring was really weirding him out!

The darn kid was starting to get on Piccolo's nerves! He was just standing there staring like an idiot! He was starting to wonder if Goku's idiocy was hereditary. 

Piccolo huffed in annoyance at Gohan, wishing the boy would come out and tell him what was wrong! Piccolo did not make it a habit to go into other people's minds without permission, but he was tempted to take a peek, only if it would help him better understand what the heck was wrong with Gohan!

Piccolo didn't know how to interpret the odd behavior Gohan was exhibiting. Humans could be odd and saiyans even odder. But Gohan had never been that hard to figure out, even with all the changes that had taken place in the past year, Gohan had still been easy to understand and help.

But ever since their talk on the Lookout, things had been... _different._ Gohan had been _different_. And Piccolo didn't know how to help him...its wasn't that Piccolo didn't want to help his friend and protégé he didn't know _how_? And it was frustrating to no end! Piccolo prided himself on being intelligent, cunning, strategic and wise. So for him to be at such a loss on how to help Gohan was a letdown.

It made him question if he was even worthy to be a help to Gohan? If maybe, because of his complete and utter lack of understanding of basic human social cues and behavioral mores, made him unfit and incapable of giving Gohan the help and understanding he needed.

Piccolo sighed, shaking his head dejectedly as he observed Gohan.

He watched as the demi-saiyan seemed to zone out, once again, for the third time during their training session. More and more he wondered if maybe he made a mistake inviting him? Maybe Gohan wasn't ready? Maybe he needed more time to grieve his father? But Piccolo quickly shook the thought out of his head, None of that explained Gohan's erratic behavior nor the emotions he sensed from the saiyan hybrid.

His bond with Gohan allowed him to feel Gohan's confusion and self-hatred but the other emotions were hard for him to identify since he'd never felt them before. All Piccolo knew was that Gohan was feeling some very deep emotions that he hated and was very confused about.

Piccolo once again noticed how Gohan, usually pale, suddenly turned bright red for no reason. He knew of the human ability to change color or _blush_ as he'd been informed, but he had no idea why the boy was doing it now. Humans were confusing on a good day and no doubt a saiyan-human hybrid combo was no walk in the park! So Piccolo decided to cut the training session short and his protege some slack and _find out what the hell was wrong with the kid!_

"Gohan, if your done going all red instead of all super saiyan we can end this sorry attempt at sparring. I don't know what's your deal kid, but its not going to cut it on the battle field." Piccolo spoke gruffly arms folded across his chest as he shook his head. He slowly descended until he landed softly on the ground, his amethyst-colored eyes narrowed as he stared up at Gohan from the ground.

The area was silent around them, Piccolo started to walk away, his steps silent, his gate graceful, as Gohan stared enraptured, watching his mentors powerful stride until he realize Piccolo was leaving him!

Gohan scrambled to catch up as he flew, nearly stumbling, once he finally reached the ground as he raced to catch up to his namekian.

"Wait...Piccolo! Don't leave me! I thought we were training!" Gohan yelled out frantically. Piccolo stopped abruptly, Causing Gohan to slam into his back.

"No I was training, you were doing your stare and zone out...thing. So I decided to leave you to it, until you were ready to train." Piccolo stated simply and continued to walk away.

Piccolo stopped, not looking at him, "Gohan, when your ready to talk. I'll be here." Piccolo said calmly. 

He powered up and flew off to his waterfall. Piccolo had a lot to think about and meditate over. He hoped that Gohan would open up because Piccolo hated not being able to help the only person who had ever given him a chance.

Gohan stared up after him, watching him fly away. Feeling bad that he had wasted his friend's time and made him run away.

Gohan had really wanted to train and spend time with ethereal, and beautiful namekian, but Piccolo's delicious scent and beautiful body had made that impossible.

When he'd first encountered Piccolo for their sparring session, Piccolo had smelled of his typical sweet scent of rain and wildflowers. It wasn't until their fight had gotten underway that he'd breathed in cinnamon and Lemongrass. Gohan had almost lost his mind. It had taken everything in him to remain calm and unaffected, He didn't want to tipoff Piccolo that something was wrong. Though he'd kinda failed in that aspect, at least he hadn't done anything that he would later regret.

Piccolo didn't realize how close he came to being flat on his back with a horny saiyan ravishing him mercilessly.

Gohan did not understand his chaotic saiyan instincts. They urged him to dominate the namekian, to possess him and show him who he belonged too.

It was freaking Gohan out!

All during the training session, he'd tried to fight his instincts that pushed him to do things to Piccolo that he barely understood.

Ever since last night, when he'd first smelled that tantalizing scent of lemongrass and cinnamon, he'd been wrestling with himself. While sparring with Piccolo, he'd smelled a faint whiff of that scent every time he'd got within an inch of Piccolo. He knew he disappointed his mentor with his distracted state but he knew if he had done anything different he had no doubt that he would have hurt Mr. Piccolo.

Gohan was horrified, he did not want to feel like this! He wanted everything to go back to the way it was! But he was starting to see that his life would never be normal again.

Gohan knew he was weird for feeling this way for a 7ft tall green skinned teenager, who looked like an adult and who was only 4 years older than him! And to make matters worse, Piccolo was a guy!

He'd already lost his dad! Did he really have to contemplate his sexuality on top of that! Damn it! He wasn't gay! But he couldn't deny the fact that Piccolo had looked so damn goooood!

Gohan flew up and sat down on the cliff face watching the sunset. He leaned back, remembering that his old friend Dende had explained that Namekians had both male and female genitalia.

Gohan sighed frustrated, "What am I even doing? Why am I even thinking of this?" Gohan couldn't help feeling sad and rejected as he stared up at the beauty that was the sky. Its vivid colors painting the sky pink, purple, and orange.

Gohan knew he had to get a handle on his emotion, he needed to do everything he could, because he refuse to lose Piccolo!

He would hide these forbidden feelings, put them in a box, so he never revealed them to his charming namekian, because Gohan loved Piccolo, he didn't want to scare him or impose his unwanted feelings on the innocent and clueless namekian.

Gohan understood in that moment, that Piccolo was it for him, and that his life would never be the same again.


	5. Hunting prey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> In this chapter we get to see Piccolo's perspective on things as well as Gohan's. We also meet Chichi and Goten!  
> I hope you guys like the story so far, its only going to get more intense as we go along.

Gohan had been acting weird lately.

Every time Piccolo tried to talk to him or invite him out to train, Gohan would use one excuse or another to avoid him. It was to the point, that Piccolo was ready to show up at the banshee's house and drag Gohan out by his ear just so they could have it out.

Piccolo wasn't big on heart to hearts or sharing his feelings, but this thing with Gohan was becoming ridiculous!

He didn't know what he had done to turn Gohan away from him, it pained him to admit, even to himself, but he missed the kid and it hurt him that Gohan would rather run away from him than be in his presence.

Piccolo thought that they'd made progress, dealing with Gohan's grief and anger in more healthy and positive ways. Instead, the kid was determined to stay away from him.

Piccolo sat on a rock right beside his favorite waterfall, the one constant in his life. It was an unchanging and flowing companion that had seen him through many confusing moments. Piccolo couldn't help but stare at the beautiful view in front of him. The soft sound of rushing water, the sweet chattering of birds, and the colorful flowers that bloomed surrounded playful butterflies fluttering around him.

Piccolo, usually at ease with such a sight, content in the stillness of nature, was filled with nothing but sadness.

What had he done wrong!?

Where had he failed?

Piccolo wished he understood whatever faux pas or misstep he'd made that caused Gohan to be so desperate to be away from him, that he'd willingly choose to deal with his mother.

Gohan's mother, Chi-Chi, had become even more unbearable since Goku's death.

Piccolo sighed, feeling lost, maybe it was time for him to accept that maybe Gohan no longer needed him in his life.

A pain like he'd never felt before, speared right through Piccolo's heart. Being separated from Gohan, his best friend, made Piccolo realize he was slowly losing the one person in the entire world who had never let him down and who'd always shown him nothing but kindness.

Piccolo stood, his cape fluttering around him as he moved quietly through the forest, The tall, stately figure moved with grace, his steps light, as he tread upon the forest floor.

The animals and forest creatures, usually afraid of two-legged beings, played without fear of the fanged, green-skinned Namekian. The forest creatures sensed his peaceful nature and knew he was safe to be around, so they frolicked happily, content and at peace.

The humans may have seen Piccolo as a monster but the animals of the forest knew he was as gentle as a dove.

Piccolo came to his favorite clearing, it was a meadow filled with beautiful wild flowers. The Z-Fighters would be shocked to realize that the usually stoic and tough Piccolo, loved to lay in a bed of wild flowers.

Piccolo took a deep breath, the sweet aroma of daisies and daffodils filled his nose and calmed him.

Piccolo, though sad, was finally at peace. He would continue to uphold the vow he'd made that day on the Lookout, no matter how Gohan treated him, Piccolo would always be there for him, ready and willing to help and support him.

It hurt that Gohan had no more use for Piccolo or want him around, but Piccolo had given himself to Gohan and if that meant staying away then so be it!

Piccolo didn't mind giving all he was to Gohan, because too him, Gohan had given him the greatest gift of all, his friendship.

Piccolo decided he would give Gohan the space he needed. He trusted his friend to do what he thought was best for his life and if staying away from Piccolo helped Gohan find peace, then Piccolo would accept that. Because Gohan mattered above all others. Piccolo closed his eyes, finally satisfied with his decision.

 

 **Gohan** :

Gohan couldn't help but stare at the resting namekian laying among the flowers.

Gohan had been watching Piccolo the entire time.

He had lowered his power level to such a degree, it was almost nonexistent.

He knew that Piccolo had supersonic hearing, so Gohan had made it a point to stay silent and move quietly. Gohan had learned to be silent from the best! It was ironic that the very skill taught to him by Piccolo, was being used to spy on him.

Gohan had a feeling that this was not what Piccolo intended when he'd showed Gohan how to evade namekian hearing.

Gohan stalked his prey like the predator he was, it was times like these, that Gohan was reminded that Saiyan's, at their base, were animals.

Hell, they changed into giant monkeys for crying out loud! If that wasn't the very definition of "beast mode" then he didn't know what was!

Gohan couldn't help watching Piccolo, he hated being separated from his mentor, but he did not trust himself. His chaotic and aggressive new feelings were dangerous. If he allowed himself to lose control, Gohan was afraid of what he might do to his oldest friend.

Gohan was mesmerized by Piccolo's beauty, to see his strong, gorgeous body surrounded by delicate little flowers only made Gohan yearn for him more. He wanted to lay down beside him and stare into Piccolo's beautiful eyes. But Gohan knew that would never happen.

It had been hell staying away from Piccolo.

Gohan barely even lasted one day, before he was devising a plan that would allow him to see his beloved Piccolo, but still keep his distance.

Piccolo had become the only light in his life, his reason to be happy. So to be without him, was hell.

Gohan felt like a stalker. Hell, he was a stalker!

The fact that he had to hide his presence from his beloved, while he secretly watched him and followed him around, made Gohan feel more and more like a creep. But he had to! Piccolo needed to be safe!

Gohan didn't really understand the new feelings and instincts that were bombarding his body. But he knew one thing, it wanted him to take the namekian and dominate him! Every single time he tried to ignore that part of himself and go see Piccolo, he ended up almost losing control and ravishing his friend.

It was driving him crazy! He didn't want to hurt his innocent friend, Piccolo knew nothing about love and...sex. Unlike Gohan, who was very well read for his age and had been given the talk a long time ago, The namekian was surprisingly naïve and innocent when it came to such matters.

It took everything in him, not to grab Piccolo while they were sparring and bite his luscious neck, or lick his delectable antennae. Or touch his gorgeous body! Gohan was almost at the end of his rope! He needed help! He didn't want to hurt his friend or do something against his will, so Gohan stayed away, afraid of the possessive feelings that seemed to only get out of control when around Piccolo.

So he stalked him. Gohan followed Piccolo around like a lost puppy, watching his every move.

Gohan gazed down at Piccolo dreamily, he looked so peaceful and content laying in a bed of flowers. Gohan had learned from his heavy stalking that Piccolo loved nature and had a fondness for flowers. So such moments were plentiful for the green skinned namekian. Watching Piccolo in nature was becoming Gohan's favorite thing to do.

He hated that he had to lie to his best and most precious friend, but Gohan knew Piccolo's safety was at stake and he didn't take that lightly.

Gohan had come up with so many different excuses. He'd even suffered his mother's overprotective and overbearing nature, just to keep Piccolo away; but it had failed to keep Gohan away!

Gohan wanted Piccolo.

He knew his saiyan nature was the culprit for these new turbulent emotions. Ascending to Super Saiyan 2 had changed him. It had unlocked and unleashed something primal within him. Whatever it was, had locked onto Piccolo and caused Gohan to go nuts every time he was in the namekians presence.

So here he was, hiding in plain sight. High up in the trees that surrounded the meadow, staring down at the gorgeous and majestic Piccolo Diamao jr.

Gohan didn't understand his almost feverish need to follow Piccolo around. It was almost compulsive the way Gohan needed to keep Piccolo within his sight.

Gohan had always secretly believed that Saiyans were a ruthless and barbaric race, ruled by there need to fight and get stronger. Gohan had always felt different from them, defective. But now, instead of the need to fight and get stronger, he felt the need to mate and mark Piccolo!

Gohan could feel the urge to dominate Piccolo creep into him, dirty thoughts teased him, heating his blood. They whispered how easy it would be to sneak into the clearing, rip Piccolo's gi to shreds and devour his delectable body until they were both lost in pleasure. It was then Gohan knew. it was time to go.

Gohan flew quietly away from the clearing, happy once again that his mentor had taught him how to lower his power level and evade namekian hearing.

Gohan returned home, the simple little house filled him with dread. He entered the house quietly, hoping he could get to his room without anybody noticing.

"Gohan! Where have you been!" Chi-Chi yelled angrily, while Gohan's baby brother dangled from her hip.

Gohan sighed, already knowing it was going to be one of those days. Chi-Chi was having one of her "bad" days. The days where she yelled and screamed and blamed everyone for her husband's death and mistakes.

"I was out mom, training. Please, just let this go. Let's not do this today. I'm tired and would like to go up to my room." Gohan begged tiredly. He didn't want to deal with his mother's bad mood.

"GOHAN-CHA! I am your mother! I have a right to know where you are at any given time! You were probably with that damn demon!" Chi-Chi hissed out enraged. Goten started to cry, scared of his mother's loud yelling.

Gohan glared at his mother as he took his little brother out of her arms and started to make his way upstairs.

"That " _demon_ " as you so rudely stated, has a name! And no, I was not with him, I was training! Please, just leave me alone mom! I got Goten, go get some air cause you need it! You being angry and yelling will not bring dad back." Gohan snapped out harshly.

Tired of dealing with the mess that was his mother, Gohan turned away, not wanting to get into another screaming match with her.

In that moment, Gohan hated his father Goku. He had left Gohan to raise his brother and deal with his mother, while he happily trained in Otherworld. It just wasn't fair that everything seemed to fall into his lap. He was just a kid, but already he had responsibilities that most 12 year olds didn't have to worry about.

Tears filled Chi-Chi's eyes at Gohan's harsh words, as she turned, running away crying. He heard her door slam violently, while broken sobs soon filled the house. Gohan cursed, frustrated with himself for making his mother cry. He hadn't meant to hurt her but like always his chaotic emotions had caused him to lash out.

He held a whimpering Goten in his arms, Gohan held his little brother close, whispering gently and soothingly to the baby saiyan. Gohan stared down at the little spitting image of his father. It had been hard looking at Goten at first, the baby favored their father so much he could be his clone. But Gohan loved his little brother, he was the only good thing his father had ever left them.

Gohan sighed, "Looks like it's just you and me, tonight, buddy." Gohan whispered sheepishly to the baby.

Nights like this, Gohan took care of Goten, their mother was still devastated by their father's death and abandonment, so Gohan picked up the slack.

Gohan loved his mother, he knew it had been hard for her, especially being pregnant and having a baby all alone. Gohan didn't blame his mother for her behavior, she was trying her best, she had to raise Two boys on her own, with no husband and no money.

The Z-Fighters hadn't been kind to his poor mother since his father's death, their silent judgment and blame only made things worse. Gohan felt torn, how do you help your mother when you can barely help yourself?

After eating 6 bowls of rice, 10 pieces of fish and half a dinosaur, Gohan was stuffed. He bathed Goten, fed him 6 bottles of milk and put him to bed. He gazed at the baby, his cute little brother was in a milk coma! His little tail curled to the side. Gohan smiled tenderly as he wrapped himself around his precious sibling, exhaustion finally catching up with him.

As he yawned tiredly, Gohan couldn't help but think that he needed to do something about his chaotic and possessive emotions. He could not continue acting like this! It wasn't fair to Piccolo, he didn't deserve it. Gohan decided that he had to talk to the only authority on saiyans that he had, Vegeta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we start to see Gohan struggling with his new found feelings and emotions toward Piccolo. Gohan is shocked at the intense lust and desire he feels for his master, the dual urge to possess and dominate him is throwing Gohan for a loop.
> 
> These feelings will continue to intensify as the story goes on. We will soon learn why his Saiyan instincts are affecting him in such a different way compared to his father and Vegeta.


	6. Desperate desire

It was the day before Gohan's 13th birthday.

His mother wanted to have a quiet get-together at home, but Bulma and the rest of Z-Fighters had argued that 13 was an important age and that Goku would have wanted them to go all out for his firstborn son. So after much yelling and arguments it was decided that his birthday would take place at Capsule Corp.

Gohan hadn't really cared where they had it, he just wanted everyone to get along. He was tired of always playing mediator between "mature" adults.

Though having his party at Capsule Corp might be just what he needed, he had been trying for months to talk to Vegeta. He would show up, asking to train but like always he was given excuses. Gohan would even sneak into the anti-Gravity chamber hoping to lure the saiyan out, but Vegeta never budged. He just laid there in his room watching daytime television.

Gohan was starting to understand how Piccolo must be feeling.

Ever since his dad died, Vegeta had given up. He had stopped training, stopped fighting, stopped trying to get stronger. It was as if he had lost his reason for living. All he did was watch television, lay in the bed and eat. He didn't even insult anybody! Vegeta had lost the will to fight.

Gohan hated seeing the once proud Saiyan Prince, brought so low. This was just another thing Gohan laid at his father's feet, his father had never given one thought to how his death would affect those left behind. What made it worse was that he chose to stay dead! To Gohan, it was no different than suicide. Because the family was always left wondering why? Why weren't they enough to live for? Why was death a better option for Goku than being with his family. What had they done to drive him away?

Gohan shook his head angrily, the others could believe that stupid excuse about protecting the earth, but Gohan didn't buy it. He saw it for the cop-out it was. If his father really believed that he was a danger to the earth, and that he brought nothing but trouble to it, then the least he could have done was prepare them for his demise!

Gohan knew his father better than anyone. Without hero-worship clouding his mind or guilt destroying his soul, he could see things clearly. His father may be a happy go-lucky type of guy, but he was oddly calculating and strategic during battle.

So it didn't take a genius to figure out that his father had known in advance that he would stay dead long before his battle with Cell. The thought really didn't surprise Gohan much.

Contrary to popular belief, Goku wasn't as stupid as most people thought he was, at least when it came to battle. Not to say Goku died on purpose or that he knew he would be killed by Cell, but that, if he did die during the fight, he would choose not to be wished back. Gohan didn't doubt for one second that Goku didn't have a contingency plan all along.

But what angered him the most, what made Gohan so damn furious! Was the utter lack of care, the total disregard for his family, his wife, the people that loved him! Goku could have told them. Explained his feelings and concerns. Helped them understand things from his point of view. They would have listened. Hell, his father was so damn persuasive he could have had them agreeing with him that death was the best option. The least he could have done was prepared them for his death and his inevitable decision to stay in OtherWorld. I mean what was the point of future Trunks even coming and preventing Goku's death if he was going to die and stay dead anyway!

Hell, he could've at least told his wife! Gohan's poor mother deserved so much better than that! He didn't even have the decency to say goodbye!

Instead, they found out just like everybody else, up on the lookout mid-wish, smiling like fools, excited to bring Goku back home!

So Imagine their surprise, when the Dragon said no, he couldn't do it!

The Dragon that had infinite, unimaginable power, could not bring Goku back home!? 

We stood there, smiles frozen on each of our faces, shocked beyond belief by the ancient dragon's words.

But it was when we heard my father's voice; saying he was choosing to stay dead, that it all made perfect sense. The Dragon, that could raise the dead, couldn't bring his father back, not because he was unable too, but because his father didn't want to come back! It was then, that Gohan's world came crashing down.

It was all over. The beginning of the end. Vegeta and the rest of the Z-Fighters hadn't been the same since.

His father hadn't considered anybody when he chose to stay dead! He hadn't cared, he had simply done what he wanted. Goku just expected them to accept him leaving, like always, like it was something simple! Like it wasn't death! He treated it like one great adventure! And not the fact we were losing someone we loved!

With happiness clear in Goku's voice, he gave them some bullshit excuse, then had the nerve to admit it was _"kinda a raw deal for him and his mother!"_ Gohan thought, enraged.

Gohan grabbed his journal, needing it's comforting presence to calm him down. Even though he was avoiding Piccolo, he was still practicing the techniques he'd been taught to help manage his grief and anger. And Gohan had a lot of anger.

Gohan laid down on his bed suddenly feeling tired. Thinking about his father always led to anger and exhaustion. He didn't know if he would ever get over it, but he was taking it one day at a time.

He no longer felt guilty, now he was trying to work through his anger. He had learned a lot about himself writing in his journal, he was starting see he had more hang-ups about his father than he'd realized. Gohan turned his mind away from his father, nothing good ever came from thinking about Goku.

There was a quiet knock at the door. "Gohan, lunch is ready." His mother spoke quietly through the door.

Gohan got up, stretching his tired muscles out and walked downstairs. His mother was setting the table, while Goten sat in his highchair making a mess as usual. Gohan kissed his baby brother on the forehead, greeted his mother and sat down to eat.

Gohan ate the delicious food his mother had prepared, the fish, rice and a side of Dinosaur were his favorite!

Except for the little noises Goten made, and the clink of their utensils hitting the plates, the room was silent.

Gohan could tell it was going to be a "good" day for his mother, she didn't yell or scream at him, nor did she make a place for his father at the table or break down in tears when she realized he really was gone. She was slowly but surely dealing with his loss.

"Gohan, is there anyone you want at your birthday party? Most everyone at Capsule Corp is your father's friend. Is there one kid your own age you can invite?" ChiChi asked him worriedly, staring at her son in concern.

"I worry about you Gohan, how will you make friends or get a girlfriend? I know now it was wrong to keep you so isolated here on this mountain. How can we expect you to function in the real world, when you've been so isolated! All you know is fighting! Your father had you involved with so much violence and danger. I know I didn't help matters with making you study all the time, but I want better for you now." She stated fervently. Her gaze fierce.

Gohan could barely speak, taken aback at his mother's words. In total shock that his mother was actually admitting that she'd been wrong!

She even referenced his father without breaking down or crying! Gohan wondered if she was sick. He almost got up to check her temperature.

"Mom, please don't worry about me. Focus on you, ok. I know this last year hasn't been easy, for any of us. But I'm getting better. I don't have friends around my age, if you don't count Piccolo. I'm not worried about a girlfriend right now, I just want to become a better person. That's it. As for the isolation thing, when the time is right to deal with other people I'll be alright." Gohan said with a grin, his Son smile firmly in place.

ChiChi glared at the mention of Piccolo. "Gohan, how can you stand that...that... _demon!!_? He's a monster, not a kid like you! He's not even your age!" His mother exclaimed frustrated. She was tired of having the same argument over and over with her son. Couldn't he see that she only wanted him safe! Protected! That she only went on and on about this matter, because that monster had stolen her son away from her all those years ago! How could she ever trust or tolerate a being that had kidnapped her son! She would never trust that green demon!

Gohan put down his chopsticks slowly, his appetite suddenly gone, as he looked directly at his mother, his expression serious.

"Piccolo, mother. His name is Piccolo and He is my friend. He is not a monster or the demon you claim him to be! If he is an alien, then so am I! Hello, Tail!" He said pointing mockingly at Goten's tail. "Piccolo is only 4 years older than me. So he is still a kid, or should I say teenager. He's 16 and I'm 12 going on 13! So before you complain about Piccolo, try to understand that he means a lot to me!" Gohan demanded sternly, his gaze furious!

He picked up his chopsticks and continued to eat. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the burst of anger that had filled him at his mother's disparaging words. He couldn't stand when she or other's insulted Piccolo. Gohan was slow to anger, but a word against Piccolo was enough to get the normally mild-mannered young man, pissed!

He knew she hated Piccolo. But he'd hoped that she could finally see that Piccolo was important to him and not the monster she imagined him to be. _Guess that was wishful thinking..._

 _Well_ , Gohan thought grimly, _she'd better realize it soon, because I'm never giving Piccolo up! If I had it my way, Piccolo would be joining our little family, as my wife!_

Gohan nearly dropped his chopsticks! He could barely control the blush that inched up his face at the thought of Piccolo being his _wife!_  

Chichi sat there stunned. Unable to reconcile this slightly blushing young boy, with the forceful young man who had defended the green-skinned alien against her.

Gohan had never spoken to her like that in his life! His voice had become deep and aggressive, barely holding the restrained anger he was feeling, at bay.

No, her little boy was not the calm, polite and respectful child she was used too, but a young man that commanded respect and obedience.

Chichi shook her head, conceding defeat. Gohan had always been funny when it came to Piccolo. The green-skinned demon had a hold on her child that just wouldn't go away.

They ate in silence. Neither saying another word, until Gohan had finished eating, finally full.

Gohan thanked his mother for the delicious meal, gathered up his mountain of dirty dishes and took them to the sink, beginning to wash them up.

Things had changed in the Son household, no longer did Chichi do the majority of the cleaning and housework. Unlike before, when his father was still living, Goku and Gohan would go out to train after leaving a mess for his mother to clean up.

Now, Gohan pitched in, cleaning up behind himself as well as taking care of his baby brother.

He now understood how tough his mother had it, and made it a point to make things as easy on her as possible. She wasn't perfect, far from it actually, but Gohan had learned to cut his mother some slack, and to help around the house. She was suffering enough, he didn't need to add to it.

Her ideas about Piccolo may be totally wrong, but she was trying.

She was finally seeing that Gohan would no longer tolerate her overbearing nature, he would express his opinions and she would either accept it or not, but Gohan would not be forced to do anything against his will.

Case and point, the argument they'd just had, his mother may never come to like Piccolo, but as long as she understood that Gohan would do as he pleased when it came to the Namekian, then they would be fine.

After washing his dishes, Gohan took Goten, cleaned him up and went to harvest the fields behind their house.

His mother grew a lot of their own food, things had become so expensive for the small single parent family, money was very tight, so his mother tried to cut costs as best she could. Gohan did his part by harvesting the fresh fruits and vegetables and hunting dinosaurs and other animals so they could stay good and fed.

The sun was hot, baring down on Gohan as sweat trickled down his brow while he worked the fields. His little brother was tied to his back in a sling, as Gohan maneuvered around, flying back and forth tending to the garden, Goten giggled in joy.

Every day, around lunch time, Gohan would take Goten to give his mother a much needed break.

Gohan's mind, like always, turned to Piccolo. He really wanted to talk to his friend, he missed Piccolo's wisdom and snarky comments. Gohan hadn't realized how lonely his life was without his beloved Piccolo. Stalking wasn't the same as having a conversation or enjoying each other's company.

Though watching Piccolo smell a flower or take a walk in the forest was awesome! But hiding behind a tree while he did it wasn't so awesome.

Gohan was starting to hate these feelings. They made him feel like a bad guy or a criminal. Because this desire to own Piccolo was wrong. This need to make him submit to Gohan's power and dominance only confirmed that he was out of his mind! Such aggressive feelings, were not like the usually good-natured, kind and mild-mannered boy. He was not this person, he was not this aggressive, possessive and obsessed wack job! He was a push-over damnit! He was suppose to be thinking about girls and holding hands, not about stripping his master naked and having his way with him! He was not supposed to dream about biting that delicious looking neck or licking Piccolo's pouty lips or antenna!

Gohan was supposed to be like most saiyans, obsessed with fighting and eating, not Piccolo!

He had barely ever seen his father kiss his mother! So why was he suddenly having thoughts of ravishing Piccolo fill his head?

Over the years, Gohan had watched Goku, then Vegeta, the last of the pure-blood saiyans and noticed the relationship they shared with their women. Both men cared about them, but Gohan had realized that neither man was as affectionate or lustful towards their women as Gohan was towards Piccolo. Both men showed more passion towards fighting than toward the women in their lives! If Gohan ever got the chance to express the desire and passion he felt towards the Namekian, he knew he would never let him go!

Was this just one more thing that made him different? Made him more of a freak than he already was? Because Gohan felt like a freak. The _things_ he wanted to do to Piccolo should be illegal. If this was puberty, then he wanted a refund! Such dirty thoughts should never see the light of day!

They were so bad, that Gohan tried his hardest to stay away from Piccolo, least he lose control and took the namek, face down, ass up.

Gohan shook his head, disturbed by his freaky thoughts. Piccolo did not deserve to be thought of like this. He was a warrior and deserved Gohan's respect and regard. Gohan felt nothing but self-loathing. Here he was, out in the fields with his baby brother on his back thinking such disgusting thoughts.

Gohan sighed dejectedly. He had finished harvesting all the fruits and veggies, and walked back into the house. The cool air felt wonderful on Gohan's hot skin. He laid all the produce on the table and called for his mother. His mom came in, wiping her hands on a towel, she looked relaxed and well-rested. Gohan smiled. Happy that he could give his mother peace and make life just a bit easier for her. His mother returned his smile, she picked Goten up, making the baby giggle in delight.

Gohan nodded to his mom and made his way upstairs, he needed a shower because he was stinking up the entire room.

Gohan grabbed his soap and towel and hopped into the shower. As the hot water ran over him, Gohan rested his forehead on the tiled wall. His hand crept slowly to the erection he'd been suppressing all day.

Thoughts of Piccolo swirled around his head.

Squeezing his member harshly, Gohan could not help the surge of lust that stood ready to consume him. He tried fruitlessly to stave off the orgasm that was determined to unman him. A sharp picture of Piccolo's half naked state, flashed before his eyes and Gohan knew he was done for. Piccolo's ruined gi had hugged the nameks thick thighs and plump ass. Gohan, filled with lust, jerked his cock up and down roughly. He wanted to bite and squeeze that ass, and lick Piccolo's broad chest that had glistened with sweat.

Gohan's instincts had completely taken over, the dark lust and desire that he was constantly battling was having a field day! He was panting harshly as he continued to jerk-off, the hot water beat down his back, the same way he was beating his dick, roughly. Fire filled his belly, while his mind was consumed with fantasies. His hand moved faster and faster over his cock, his dick throbbed with need, ready to erupt. He needed to cum. To feel the release that only thoughts of Piccolo could bring.

It felt so **_good_**.

He shivered in ecstasy, his skin sensitive, balls drawn tight. He rubbed the sensitive head of his cock, spreading his essence around the thick, mushroom tip.

Gohan imagined Piccolo's plump pouty lips wrapped tight around his dick, sucking the tip hungrily! A slight graze of a fang...and Gohan lost it!

The thought so hot, so depraved and dirty! That Gohan couldn't have stopped his orgasm if he'd tried.

He came so hard, he saw stars!

His knees buckled, his mind went blank, as he fell down, spent, in the shower.

Globs and globs of cum continued to paint the shower floor, like an eruption, cum flowed from his drooling dick.

Gohan stared unseeingly, trapped in a daze. He laid there trembling from the aftershocks, feeling as limp as a wet noodle. That orgasm had been mind-blowing. Still filled with euphoria, Gohan finally got up. His mind still blank from coming so hard. He cleaned himself up, washing away the evidence of his cum.

Gohan got out the shower, body relaxed, his mind finally at peace. This was not Gohan's first time jerking-off. He'd been scared at first, scared and confused. But as time wore on, he'd realized that the only way to get relief from the raging lust he was suffering from, was masturbation.

Gohan had been masturbating for days.

Ever since that night he'd gotten a boner for the first time, Gohan had been unable to keep himself from jerking off to thoughts of Piccolo. It was crazy how he went from never touching himself, to barely being able to stop tugging at his cock. Masturbating was the only thing that kept him from losing control. It was only through sheer force of will that he wasn't popping boners every time he saw or came in contact with Piccolo.

He really needed to talk to Vegeta. Gohan knew that simple human puberty was not like this. This was something more, something entirely Saiyan. Puberty didn't have you stalking people, it didn't have you wanting to bite and mark up others and it especially didn't fill you with the need to hunt and dominate your prey into submission! Nope, normal  _human_  puberty did not cause all these weird symptoms. But it did cause him to want to masturbate all the time and have dirty fantasies about Piccolo.

Gohan sighed in frustration as he sat on his bed. He leaned back against his headboard. He stared down at his towel covered lap, wondering, in the privacy of his room, what Piccolo looked like under his gi. Gohan sighed. Even after a mind-blowing orgasm his mind still went right back to thinking about Piccolo. Gohan couldn't help but get excited at the thought of Piccolo naked. Was Dende right? Was Piccolo really both? Did he really have a cock and a vagina? What did they look like? What did they  _taste_  like? Did Piccolo ever get aroused? Gohan was filled with curiosity, he wanted to know  _everything_  about his green-skinned friend.

Gohan loved Piccolo's body. When Krillin and the others were all looking at dirty magazine's Gohan was imagining Piccolo instead. To him, Piccolo had the best body. Though he did think the girls were attractive in an "she's cute for a human" kind of way, none of them could hold a candle to Piccolo.

He sometimes wished that he could be honest and confess his feelings. He hated keeping such a big secret from his best friend. But Gohan knew Piccolo wasn't ready for Gohan's intense and rather passionate feelings. He wanted to kiss him, caress him, show Piccolo his love and utter devotion. Which, Gohan knew, would probably cause the namekian to punch him in the face.

Gohan shook his head, no matter where he was or what he was doing, his mind was always drawn to Piccolo. His body must have agreed because he was hard again. "Damn it!" Gohan muttered as he glared at his length. He tried to will it away, he didn't want to be jacking off all night! He nearly cried in frustration at how hard he was, he gripped his dick and began to jerk-off, hating himself for his weakness.

Sometimes he spent whole days jacking off in his room until he had rubbed himself raw.

Gohan was tired.

Tired of wanking. Tired of lying. Just tired! This was no way to live, he had become a prisoner inside his own body! Tomorrow was his 13th birthday. Gohan was determined to get to the bottom of this. He would corner Vegeta and end this hell! Because Gohan could no longer go another day suffering and not being able to talk to his beloved Piccolo.


	7. K'ala: The True History of the Saiyan's

It was the day of his birthday and Gohan was determined to talk to Vegeta!

This time, he would not take no for an answer! He would get his answers and finally understand why he had become such a obsessed, possessive, freak!

Gohan snucked out of the house and flew to Capsule Corp.

It was so early in the morning that darkness still covered everything, Gohan barely paid attention to the impressive and imposing compound once he touched down. His only focus was on confronting Vegeta.

Gohan flew to the back of the large building, Vegeta had his own room at the compound, one far away from all the hustle and bustle of the large corporation.

He hovered outside, the sun barely peeking through the clouds. He knew that it was early, the ass crack of dawn early, but Gohan was desperate! He could not wait another minute to talk to the Saiyan Prince. He needed Vegeta's help, his knowledge of saiyans, and most importantly, to talk to the one person who could understand just a fraction of what Gohan was going through.

Gohan was at the end of his rope, he needed help!

He knocked on Vegeta's window, knowing the saiyan was awake and aware of his presence. Vegeta's ki had remained steady the entire time, letting Gohan know that Vegeta had sensed his presence long before he'd stepped foot on Capsule Corps property.

He had barely moved his hand, before Gohan was staring into the eyes of the snarky Saiyan prince.

Vegeta stared at him, his expression stoic, arms folded tightly across his chest. The two powerful warriors studied each other, their gazes intense. Both refused to look away or back down from the stand-off.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of having Kakarrot's brat grace me with his presence? Your a long way away from your Namek, boy! or are you still stupidly avoiding him, hmm?" Vegeta questioned knowingly, his gruff demeanor and raspy voice mocking, as he smirked at Gohan arrogantly.

Gohan was frozen in shock at Vegeta's words, he shook his head, sighing dejectedly. He should have known Vegeta would figure it out. The man for all his pride and bluster, was surprisingly astute. A part of him wanted to leave and never come back, to pretend he hadn't stooped so low as to actually need the arrogant prince, but Gohan was no fool, He was honest and desperate enough to know when he needed help.

Gohan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he looked Vegeta dead in the eye and spoke. "Vegeta, I need your help. I've been having problems.  _Saiyan_  problems, ever since I went super saiyan 2 that first time. The type of problems that I think only you can help me with." Gohan stated strongly.

He knew he needed to speak with strength and assertiveness when dealing with Vegeta, the man hated all forms of weakness. Asking for help was bad enough, he didn't need to lower his chances by acting as pitiful as he felt. Really, there was no guarantee that Vegeta would even help him or just laugh in his face and reject him. All Gohan could do was hope that the saiyan took pity on him and was curious enough to at least hear him out.

Vegeta stared at Gohan, his expression curious. He didn't know what to make of the brat's cryptic words. All he knew was, that for the first time since Kakarrot's death, Vegeta felt alert.

For so long he had been in a daze, trapped in a depression that had slowly started to destroy him. Nothing had moved him or interested him, life had truly lost all meaning. Now Kakarrot's brat was begging for his help and Vegeta couldn't help but to be intrigued by the boy's words.

"So brat, you need my help, you say?" Vegeta asked smugly raising a brow at Kakarot's oldest son.

Gohan simply nodded. He didn't care that Vegeta was being a dick by rubbing it in. He ignored Vegeta's smug tone and arrogant smirk, Gohan had lost all his pride, this thing with Piccolo was ruining his life. "Yes Vegeta. Your knowledge and expertise on Saiyans would be invaluable to me." He stated simply, His expression earnest.

"Fine, fine, brat. You've got me. I'm curious about these " _ **Saiyan problems**_ " you claim to have. To my knowledge, you've never been as affected by your saiyan side as you are by your human. Except in extreme cases. Your rather  _human_ in your behavior." Vegeta sneered in disgust.

Gohan closed his eyes, mind in turmoil. He could feel his anger start to rise at Vegeta's dismissive attitude. The saiyan side Vegeta claimed he didn't have, was just begging to come out and show Vegeta who was really Top dog. The urge to assert his dominance and challenge the older male was nearly impossible to control. His saiyan instincts did not like the fact that there was another powerful saiyan male around their mate. An Alpha, at that. His instincts screamed at him to eliminate the threat to their potential mate.

Vegeta had been studying Gohan the entire time. He had purposely needled and angered the boy on purpose, just to see how he responded and Vegeta was not disappointed by what he found out.

He could tell that the boy had not been exaggerating, he really did have saiyan problems. Vegeta was in shock and awe as he realized what exactly was going on. The boy was in for a rude awakening and a wild ride. Vegeta thought smirking. After this, Vegeta could never call the boy half-breed or human, again. Hell, with this development the brat was more saiyan than he was!

Vegeta stepped smoothly out of his room and began to descend to the ground below. As soon as his feet touched the soft ground, he stalked away. Gohan stood frozen for a second, then scrambled to catch up to the saiyan prince. "W-what's going on Vegeta! I thought you were going to help me!" Gohan frantically whispered. Anxiety filled him as he worried that he would be abandoned to suffer on his own. In a panic, Gohan nearly barreled into Vegeta when the older man abruptly stopped.

Vegeta glared at Gohan, irritated at the boy's stupidity. "Brat! I told you I would help you! So pipe down. Unlike your idiot father, your not stupid. If you had been paying attention you would have realized where I led us too." Vegeta stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Gohan righted himself, totally embarrassed by his mini melt down. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a bashful smile on his face, he finally looked up and realized they were at the Gravity chamber.

Gohan chuckled awkwardly, looking everywhere but at Vegeta.

"Now that you've made a fool of yourself, we can finally get down to business. Let's train." Vegeta commanded. His voice brokered no argument. Vegeta was back in control.

Gohan ignored the strong urge to bare his teeth at Vegeta. But he couldn't stifle the rough growl that burst out of him. It warned Vegeta that Gohan was no beta male, but a dominant Alpha ready to defend his territory.

Vegeta stood stock-still, the instinctual urge to growl and put the teenager back in his place was strong.

But Vegeta knew it would only lead to a battle to the death, a battle neither of them needed right now.

Vegeta realized that the boy was worse off than he'd thought. If he, against his will, was challenging an Alpha instinctively, then Vegeta knew they had a big problem. He knew that battles between Alpha's always lead to the death of one or both men. Vegeta wasn't so keen to die, not too sure that if the boy and he battled, that Vegeta would be the one to come out on top.

No. It was best to help the boy get a handle on his instincts before they had a raging, lust-filled saiyan on their hands.

Vegeta shuddered, he did not think the world was ready for a sex-crazed saiyan in hunt for a mate!

"Listen brat, we are going to train. I need you to give it everything you've got. Capiche." Vegeta stated, his gazed direct, as he watched Gohan.

Gohan stared at the other man in confusion, "How is this going to help me? I've been training nonstop! I need something more than  _training!_ " Gohan complained derisively.

Vegeta smirked, "My help, my rules." He simply stated.

Gohan rolled his eyes but finally agreed. If Vegeta wanted to waste time fighting, then fine! Gohan would oblige, he just hoped Vegeta's help was worth it.

Vegeta walked calmly to the computer panel and set the coordinates for 500×s earth's gravity. It took a moment, but suddenly the air was heavy, making it hard to move.

"Let's start the warm up at 500 and then get this party started at 700!" Vegeta shouted, pumped-up as he suddenly punched Gohan in the face.

Gohan, caught off guard took the hit but soon he was throwing powerful punches and vicious kicks. Trying to overwhelm Vegeta with his barrage of attacks.

Vegeta laughed as they continued to fight, with the burn of adrenaline running through him. He was alive with excitement. It felt good fighting. Using his muscles, his powers, it was a drug Vegeta couldn't get enough of He'd missed this. Missed putting his body through the ringer and coming out on top. He'd stayed away to long, his depression had been all encompassing but now, he remembered why he loved this. This was where he belonged, not sitting in a room like a lump. He felt ashamed of his weakness. No longer would he hide from life he would make sure to live again.

He grabbed the brats fist, mid-punch tossing him over his shoulder. Then quickly roundhouse kicked him. The boy hit the wall, but came back swinging at Vegeta getting a head-butt for his trouble.

They had been fighting nonstop.

Punch after punch and kick after kick, Gohan and Vegeta were evenly matched. Vegeta could feel himself getting frustrated. He knew the brat was holding back. He'd lost power and strength in some of his attacks. After nearly a year of not training, he'd gotten weak and it showed, badly.

Vegeta felt rage as he moved too slow to avoid the uppercut that sent him careening towards the ceiling.

Once again, he was losing to one so below his station. What galled him most, was the fact that it was the half-breed progeny of that third class buffoon, Kakarrot, he was losing too!

He, the Saiyan Prince, the last of the royal bloodline and lineage, was being showed up by a brat that had barely entered puberty!

Vegeta, so consumed by anger, had completely forgotten the reason he was training Gohan, to help the boy and educate him about his Saiyan heritage.

Vegeta quickly powered up, Transforming into a Super Saiyan.

He let out a roar so loud, the walls trembled as he rushed to attack Gohan. The fight before, a simple spar, now had become a true battle.

Gohan tried to keep control of his emotions as he dodged Vegeta's hits.

He could not afford to lose control, his saiyan side was too near the surface. If he gave into his instincts, Vegeta would end up dead.

Gohan avoided a blow to the head as he viciously kick Vegeta in the throat. The urge to go Super Saiyan 2 was almost too tempting, but Gohan feared that he would lose himself if he gave into it now.

Vegeta, frustrated with the constant dodging, sent a ki blast at Gohan.

"Stop dodging and fight me Kakarrot!" Vegeta screamed.

  
Gohan jerked back in surprise, shocked that Vegeta had called him by his father's name.

Gohan felt rage, anger and hurt fill him, he was not his father! He was Gohan!

Instantly Gohan stopped fighting, he powered down and started to walk away. To disgusted to even look at Vegeta, the man that dared to call him by his father's name!

Vegeta, confused by the abrupt change, watched the boy walk away, not understanding why the brat had stopped fighting.

"Boy where are you going? We're training!" He shouted sternly.

Gohan stopped.

His back to Vegeta, his hands were clenched tight in a fist as he took rapid breaths trying to calm down.

  
"You called me by my father's name, Vegeta." Gohan hissed coldly.

"While fighting me, you were so consumed with rage, that you stopped fighting me, your opponent, and started fighting my father." Gohan stated rigidly. Still refusing to face Vegeta.

"I am not my father's replacement, nor am I his clone! I am my own man! I am Son Gohan! I will _never_ be Son Goku!" Gohan stated darkly.

"Did you forget why I came here? To get your help, but instead I get a sparr session and mistaken for my father. Some help you turned out to be." Gohan remarked sarcastically.

Vegeta's face turned red with embarrassment and rage. "Brat! Don't walk away from me! So what if I called you Kakarrot. Your his son. You might as well be him. Get back here, let's fight. Your acting like some angry woman." Vegeta mocked.

Gohan turned around, calmly walked up to Vegeta and punched him right in the face.

"Never insult me by calling me out my name or comparing me to my father! I am nothing like him. I was a fool to think you could help me." Gohan sneered in disgust.

"Your pathetic, Vegeta. But I can assure you, I'm no woman" Gohan smirked arrogantly. "Trust me, I got the right equipment to please Piccolo." He chuckled smugly, shaking his head as he walked away.

Vegeta was stunned by the boys words, but quickly locked the door, glaring at Gohan in confused anger.

"Afraid I'll beat you brat...is that why you're running away? Your father never ran away from a fight." Vegeta mocked cruelly, hoping to anger Gohan enough to keep fighting.

Gohan shook his head feeling sorry for Vegeta.

"Why? Why do you even care! Are you always going to chase after my Father? He abandoned you, just like he abandoned the rest of us!" Gohan said, his fists clenched tight, as he glared at the older Saiyan.

"Even dead, dad still has a hold on you." Gohan sighed wearily, feeling pity for his father's rival.

"You follow him around, trying to be just like him. If my father does something, then your determined to do it too! Now here you are, wasting away in your room, because he willingly stayed dead! Happy to be in Otherworld, where he can train with no thought to anyone but himself! Vegeta, you weren't even a thought, or a consideration to him. Yet, here you are, still hung up on someone who barely see's you as competition or a challenge." Gohan stated brutally.

The harsh words seemed to hang in the air between them.

Gohan had never wanted to go there. To put the harsh truth out in the open like that, but Vegeta had pushed him to it.

And to be frankly honest, the Saiyan prince, as well as the other Z-fighters, needed a wake-up call.

They all lived in this fantasy world where his father was somehow perfect, and incapable of being wrong. Never wanting see that Goku could be just as selfish or flawed, as the rest of them! It was almost cult-like the way they all aggressively tried to never criticize any of his father's whims or decisions. It freaked him out when he thought about it, friends were suppose to be honest and tell it like it is. The fact his father's friends never did, made Gohan shudder. He was glad Piccolo always put him in his place when he was being foolish, or told him when he was wrong. 

Having yes-men like his father was not appealing at all!

He knew his father was not a bad guy, or person, he was just was a shit father and husband. He was a better friend, but that wasn't saying much. 

Gohan stared at Vegeta kindly, "Just a word of advice, Vegeta. My father is not a man to emulate or live your life for. Find your own way to power and getting stronger. My father is dead, live your life Vegeta, before you miss out and have nothing to show for it!"

Vegeta, filled with anger and contempt, couldn't help the words that burst out "How dare you lecture me, you half-breed brat! It is easy for you to say that! Kakorrot is stronger than me and so are you! He became super saiyan before me. Am I always doomed to be second best, brat!"

Gohan shook his head "No Vegeta, my father devoted his entire life to fighting. He gave up everything for it, that made him a good hero, but not a good father or husband. I don't hate my father, but where is he now? Dead. While we live. You have time to become stronger than my father, but you never will, focusing on him. It does not help you comparing yourself to him. Do you want to know what makes me the strongest in the universe? My anger. My anger at my loved ones being in danger. It's because I love them, not the earth, that my power is so ruthless and deadly. My father understands this a little bit; see he loves the earth and everything in it. Everything is equally loved by him, no one is special, not even his family. The only thing he loves more is fighting and getting stronger. So he uses this love to push him to greater heights. While you use your anger that is fueled by rage, jealousy, insecurity, and pride to push you. This is where you fall short. Love is always a greater motivator."

"You have all the tools you need to be successful. i.e. the family, you created. You just need to focus on you and forget my dad. He's dead. You have to find your own reason to move forward and get stronger. Dad can not be the basis for your growth or the reason for your strength. It just makes your victory, his." Gohan spoke wisely.

He walked out the anti-Gravity chamber leaving Vegeta alone with his thoughts.

Vegeta was speechless.

The brat had read him the riot act.

Maybe he was right, Vegeta had never thought of it like that. His focus had always been on Kakarrot and surpassing him, not on getting stronger for himself or his family.

He had always thought emotions made you weak, but looking at the brat and his idiot father, he had come to realize that maybe he'd been wrong.

His time with Freiza had messed him up.

But he was tired of pitting himself against impossible standards. He would let Kakarrot go. The brat was right, he was dead. It was time to live for Vegeta, to learn about his son, and give this life a chance.

He was a Prince, the last of his race except for two baby half-breeds and a Teenage half-breed. It was time to train and educate the last of his people.

Kakarrot hadn't cared about their lost people, culture, or customs.

He had only cared about this mudd ball.

But maybe his brat would be the one to appreciate it. Already the boy was exhibiting signs of K'ala.

Vegeta was still in shock that it was even happening. The boy was young, too young to be feeling the possessive and aggressive feelings the ancients of their race had written about.

Vegeta had been a child when his father had taught him the ancient history of their people and how the Ancient saiyans came to be.

For the boy to be entering into K'ala only showed how much of a Saiyan he truly was!

Hell, Vegeta had never entered K'ala, neither had Kakarrot from what he could tell. But then their women were not their mates. A Saiyan can only enter into K'ala when the race was near extinction or finds a viable mate worthy of having their litter.

Freiza had put a stop to the process long ago, his fear of their growing numbers and high fertility rates, had led to him creating a serum that had blocked the biological instinct to go into K'ala and led to lower number of kits being born.

Where before Saiyans boasted families of 4 to 6 children being born in a single litter, after they were injected with the serum, single births became the norm. No longer did they have litters of multiple children, instead they were limited to having 1 or 2. All Saiyan babies were injected with the serum, Vegeta and Kakarott had not escaped this fate.

The serum dampened or destroyed the desire for family and procreation, but emphasized the desire to fight and get stronger. Not surprising when Freiza wanted Saiyan soldiers at his command. 

But Kakarott's son was a half-breed!-maybe that was the difference? Maybe because he never got the injection he never lost the biological instinct to enter K'ala?

Vegeta would have to do further research into this. If this was true, and he could figure out how to reverse the serum, then he could save his race from the brink of extinction! Vegeta thought excitedly.

Before the days of Freiza, the ancient rite of K'ala had been the way their people mated and reproduced.

Once upon a time, the saiyans had been a plentiful and robust race.

Fighting, fucking, and family had been the way of the Saiyans.

But then Freiza had come and ruined everything. He had killed many of the females and kits(babys) during what was now known as the Slaughter of Blood. After that, The battle of Ancient Days took place, where the Saiyans had launched their last stand.

Many Saiyan's lost their lives and the rest were enslaved by that evil monster Freiza! His own father hadn't even been born yet, but his great grandfather had seen the enslavement and bastardization of the Saiyan race, back when he was a kit-barely older than his son Trunks.

No one on this mudball understood what he had lost.

They had never understood why he hated Freiza so damn much! Why he had been so obsessed with becoming a Super-Saiyan, or why it had killed him, when an uncaring, third-class baboon, who didn't know, nor care about the atrocities visited upon their people, had become super Saiyan before him!

Only Vegeta, as the keeper of their peoples history, knew.

Only he bore the weight of his people's cries for vengeance and blood.

Only he remembered the songs of his homeland song to him in his youth, by Raditz.

The only other person who had bowed his head in agony when the Days of Remembrance came; where they would beat their chests in agony and wail songs of rage.

Even Nappa, the fool, was quiet in honor of their lost people.

It had been years since Vegeta had observed those sacred days properly, he felt utter shame for the dishonor he'd shown for such important days to the last his people.

The boy was right, his desire to beat Kakarrot, Hell, his desire to destroy Freiza! Had blinded him to everything. He had done many horrible acts against Raditz and Nappa, blinded by rage.

Vegeta had forgotten his people, his culture, his cause! Until now, all because of Gohan.

Vegeta's face filled with determination, he had failed his people, but no more! He would do better! The boy was right! Vegeta had a new goal now! He would train and educate the last of his people, he would make sure that Saiyan culture, his culture, would not die with him! It was time to teach the new generation about the beauty and the power of their lost people.


	8. Interlude: Mother vs Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys its been a while, its 2020 and the Coronavirus is kicking folks asses! I hope you guys are safe and washing your hands. 
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, got a new job and moved to a totally new state. Now this Corona shit is fucking nuts since I work in the Healthcare industry. 
> 
> I also had some strong writer's block for a while and was trying to decide what direction I wanted this story to go. I want to be true to the vision I have for this story so that each chapter will be fucking awesome!  
> I Hope you like my story so far, let me know what yall think in the comments.
> 
> *This chapter is kinda short, I'm at work writing this, so when I get home I'll write the next chapter.

Gohan was disappointed.

He'd really expected Vegeta to be able to help him, but instead-he'd let him down.

Gohan was tired-so very tired of the pain, the lies, the fact that he had to hide away from his beloved Piccolo. It made him sick to think about how close they once were to one another, but now Gohan was reduced to lying and stalking the beautiful namekian like some obsessive _creep_!

He wanted to forget that today ever happened, he didn't even care that today was his _birthday_ -all he wanted to do was be with Piccolo, but he couldn't, and it killed him!

Gohan had a long way to go before this day was over, and for once-Gohan didn't give a fuck about it!

He flew back to his home on Mount Paozu, utterly depressed and defeated.

The earth was teeming with life all around him as he flew, but all Gohan could see was the endless grey void that threatened to consume him.

It didn't matter that today was his birthday or that he was another year older, if he couldn't talk to Piccolo or even be near him safely, Gohan would rather not even have a birthday party.

 

All Gohan could think about was the fact that he was a danger to Piccolo.

 

It killed him, ripped him apart that he was so out of control, that he was a danger to the one he loved most in the entire world.

Piccolo did not deserve this, he was the innocent one in the situation they'd found themselves in, it wasn't Piccolo's fault that Gohan had such _perverted_ and _lewd_ feelings for his naïve Master that he barley knew what to do with himself.

From day one, Piccolo had done nothing but try to help him, even when Gohan lied to him Piccolo still came around, willingly braving Chichi's anger and displeasure just to talk to Gohan, it shamed him greatly that he was hurting his love and putting him through this, but Piccolo's quiet devotion and kindness only made Gohan fall even more desperately in love with the wise and cunning warrior.

The sun was high in the sky, shining cheerfully, but all Gohan wanted to do was destroy it like Piccolo did the moon all those years ago, as his dark thoughts consumed his mind.

Gohan knew that his mother was probably already up moving around, the woman had been nearly obsessed with planning his birthday party-Hell, she was more excited than he was!

He could sense her ki moving around in the kitchen, it was still early morning but his mother had always been an early bird as she prepared food for his party, Gohan thought unenthusiastically.

He hovered outside his window, the desire to turn around and fly away from everything in his life, was nearly a physical thing.

He was so tired of being strong-of pretending everything was alright, all he wanted to do was turn back time and stop his father from ever dying and go back to the days when his life was simple, and wasn't the unmitigated nightmare it'd become.

This thing with Piccolo though, was taking a harsh toll on his mental and physical heath.

Gohan was breaking apart at the seams and it seemed as if no one noticed or cared except for his beloved Piccolo!

Nothing he did ever worked!

Hell, Vegeta had been a total let down, and now Gohan was once again on his own.

He wanted to be the Gohan that didn't have sick, perverted fantasies about his own Sensei-to be that strong, bright-eyed kid he once was, but as he stared at his troubled reflection, Gohan knew he would never be that innocent boy again!

Despair burned in his heart.

If he wasn't so shattered, and totally not in the mood for his annoying mother's mouth-Gohan would have smashed his window into _pieces_ , the weight of his own defeated gaze staring back at him in the mirrored surface of the window was almost to much to bare! 

The situation was clearly taking a toll on him, Gohan was slowly breaking down as the situation pressed down around him.

He opened his window and stepped inside, glancing around his room feeling like a stranger in his own house.

He stumbled to his bed, absolutely exhausted.

Today had been such a waste of time-scratch that, _Vegeta_ had been such a waste of time! It wasn't supposed to end like this, Vegeta was supposed to **_help_** , to have the answer Gohan needed, but all the idiot wanted to do was fight-like always, thinking everything could be fix with a good fight! Gohan thought disgustedly.

He resented the fact that the only person who had an inkling of what Gohan was going through was so caught up in his stupid rivalry with his dead father, that the baka dared to call Gohan "Goku" it was so humiliating and so enraging that Gohan had to fight his Saiyan instincts that begged him to show Vegeta why he would _never_ confuse Gohan for his father again! 

 

Gohan laid face down in his bed, groaning in agony at the very thought of suffering through his own birthday party, it made him want to throw a destructo-disk at his own head!

He wanted to cancel the whole event--but for one, he knew his loud, overbearing mother would not go for that. And two, The rest of the Z-Fights were already invited and expected to be there, which meant that if he was unlucky-and Gohan was _very_ unlucky, then Piccolo would more than likely be there too. 

Gohan would be forced to do everything in his power to avoid him-it wouldn't do for the birthday boy to _ravish_ one of the guests!

It would be the height of rudeness for _good, polite_ Gohan to fuck his former master right there at his birthday party in front of everyone!

And Gohan was anything but rude! He thought sardonically.

Gohan rolled his eyes at the irony, If only they knew how... _ **polite**... _Gohan could get when it came to the green-skinned namekian then they would really lose their shit, he snickered to himself.

If he didn't have such rigid, iron control of himself, Gohan would probably give all the Z-Fighters a free show!

But luckily, he did have such iron control, because Gohan didn't think his mother or the Z-Fighters were quite ready to see him tongue-fuck the hell out of Piccolo, devour his lips or suck on his sexy antenna.

But hey, what can you do?

Gohan had been holding back his rather aggressive Saiyan instincts for a while now-but fighting Vegeta had not helped at _all_ , to be honest, it had only made things worse!

His primal saiyan instincts were at an all time high, and it was taking everything in him not to lock on Piccolo's location and go get his namek!

Gohan at this point was ready to say " _Fuck it!_ "  

For the first time in his life, he actually hoped that Piccolo wouldn't come to his party.

All these years of begging his mother to invite Piccolo to his birthday party--waiting anxiously for the peaceful and powerful Namek to show up, ignoring everyone else--just for a glimpse of the elegant and beautiful being, all gone in an instant because he couldn't control his _dick_!

Well, this time he had another reason to be anxious and it wasn't because he wanted to play _pin-the-tail-on-the-primate._ He thought, grimacing at the raunchy direction his thoughts had taken. 

It was pathetic-no, more than pathetic, it was absolutely disgusting and dishonorable!

 _He_ was disgusting and dishonorable! Gohan hated that he was ruled by such perverse feelings and emotions that had him unable to even be near his best friend.

His mind contained so much filth, that he couldn't even look anybody in the eye, the feeling of shame that he wrestled with daily was so powerful that it was almost too hard to overcome.

If anyone looked inside his mind they would be absolutely horrified and disgusted by the constant images and dirty thoughts about Piccolo.

Thank _Kami_ , Piccolo was too respectful and honorable to ever enter his mind without permission, because if he did, Gohan was sure the shy and innocent namek would never want to talk to Gohan again!

To be honest, Gohan didn't know if he would be able to control himself if Piccolo did show up to his party? Honestly, Gohan was tired of fighting his instincts, he just wanted his friend back--was that too much to ask?!

Gohan turned over on his bed, he knew his mother would never let him ditch his own birthday party but he was really contemplating hiding out at Kami's lookout until this horrible day was over.

 

 ** _"_** ** _Gohan-chaaaaa!"_** Chichi screamed out.

 

His mother's shout was so loud that it nearly rattled the walls, Chichi may not have been much of a fighter these days, but she still had quite the set of pipes on her. 

 

"Gohan, come down stairs, we need to get to Bulma's to help set up!" she shouted up the stairs.

 

Gohan groaned in annoyance, he wanted to pretend his mom had never spoken so that he could continue his pity party in peace, but Gohan knew that if he ignored her it would only make it worse and cause his mother to enter his room-being her loud, overbearing self which Gohan just couldn't deal with today.

Gohan sighed tiredly, rolling off the bed wishing he'd never agreed to have the stupid party in the first place!

 

 ** _"_** ** _Coming mom!_** " he called out, hoping it would keep her from invading his privacy- _again!_

 

His mom had a tendency to barge right into his room when she felt he was hiding something or when her overprotective nature caused her to check in on him every hour of the day.

But after a few screaming matches and an embarrassing incident in which she walked in on him masturbating, his mother finally learned to leave him alone and knock before entering his room, at least part of the time-it was still a work in progress.

 

Gohan walked down the stairs, still dressed in a pair of purple sweat pants and white T-shirt from earlier.

Chichi took one look at her oldest child and nearly burst a blood vessel!

 _ **"Gohan-chaaa**!_ That is not the clothing of a respectable young man! You will change into the suit I picked out for you this instant, young man!" Chichi screeched.

Gohan rolled his eyes in annoyance, "Listen mom, I'm not wearing a monkey-suit to my party, that is most definitely **not** happening, I barely even want go to this stupid thing, don't push your luck mom, I am not in the mood." Gohan replied sternly, irritated that once again his mother was trying to control his life.

 

Chichi gasped in shock, stumbling back at his words, " _Gohan!..._ what has gotten into you?! This can not possibly be my baby boy behaving like this?! I'm going to assume this is just birthday nerves and puberty talking. If only your father were still here you wouldn't be behaving like this. Its that damn demon and his ugly attitude rubbing off on you!"   

Gohan clenched his fists tight, grinding his teeth in frustration at the very mention of his father.

He hated when his mother did this-brought up his father and insulted Piccolo. She really saw his dad as some type of saint, treating Goku as if he was father and husband of the year-despite the fact that the man didn't give two shits about her when he chose to stay in Otherworld! It was so fucking irritating correcting her again and again, just for her to ignore him and continue to bash Piccolo and pretend his father actually gave a damn about them.

Gohan was tired of biting his tongue, it was his birthday today so he decided right then and there to stop giving a fuck! He was going to say what the fuck he wanted, even if that meant hurting peoples feelings.

"Well _mom_ , to bad for you-he's not here because he's _dead!_ He's dead mom, and its time for you to acknowledge it!"

"I'm tired of pretending dad gave a shit about us-he didn't, mom. He happily went on to Otherworld-fighting and eating to his hearts content without another thought to what would happen to us. That's your so-called husband mom, that's Goku, a man that left you a single mother without a backwards glance." Gohan stated ruthlessly.

Chichi trembled, covering her face in embarrassment as her entire body frozen in horror.

Gohan's words had ripped through her as effortlessly as paper- hearing the truth spoken so bluntly, out loud-by her own son, was nearly her undoing! She'd tried her hardest to pretend that everything was alright, that Goku's abandonment hadn't destroyed her and sent her spiraling into a depression, but looking at the evidence of her son's rage filled eyes and hearing his cutting words made her realize that her attempt had failed.

Gohan didn't like hurting his mother, he never wanted to be the cause of her tears, but enough was enough! They couldn't keep living like this, bottling their emotions about his father under a veneer of cheerfulness! He was sick and tired of having to bare the brunt of his mother's emotions and it was time to end it. 

Piccolo had made him realize that the only way to move forward was to confront and deal with things directly. 

Gohan hadn't intended for this to come to a head on his birthday, but hell, it was already a shit day might as well go all out. 

"G-gohan" Chichi whispered, barely able to gather her wits together, her shame so great. She sighed, lowering her head in sorrow and pain unable to even look at him.

Gohan didn't move an inch, standing there waiting for her to speak, Chichi seemed to have aged a thousand years in an instant.

 

"I didn't want to do this here Gohan-today on your birthday. If I could, I would have never addressed this, but you've forced me to face it-to acknowledge a truth I would have happily ignored for the rest of my life!" Chichi stated quietly, turning away.

"But I am still your mother" She said, looking him dead in the eye.  "I will be respected no matter what!"

"I loved your father Gohan, with everything in me, but....he loved the earth more, loved fighting more, loved everything more than he could ever love me. You don't think I know that if he had a choice between training and saving the world or being with me and his own children that he would choose training every damn _time_!" She hissed furiously.

 

"I lived with that reality long before he ever went to Namek!"

 

"But today-today on my son's thirteenth birthday, I wanted to pretend that if he were here-that maybe for once, he would forgo training and actually choose us for the first time in his stupid life!" She jerked forward, poking Gohan in the chest as she released all her pent up rage, anger, and resentment.

 

"But I am a mother first, with a teenager and a baby who doesn't need the anger and resentment I feel poisoning them against their father."

 

"Yes, I feel cheated-yes I feel rejected after everything I've done and all the years I've given him."

"I _feel_ the disapproving glares tossed at me from all your father's friends- _friends_ who from the very beginning resented me and badmouth me to your father and you, but I stayed, I endured, and fought for a love that might have been a waste of time-but what I will never regret is the fact that you and Goten are my son's, and that is the greatest gift your father ever gave me!"

"Everything I've done, has been because I love hard-maybe to my own detriment...." She trailed off sadly, holding herself protectively as she stared off into the distance, gaze unseeing while silent tears fell from her eyes. She continued to speak, her words were quiet, yet shattering as Gohan watched his strong mother fall apart. 

"So yeah, I might seem foolish and out of touch to you- even overbearing and overprotective at times, but everything I am- I give to you both, because you're all I have left in this world." She explained firmly, her dark brown eyes fierce, but they couldn't hide the small trace of vulnerability hidden in them.

Gohan took a tentive step forward-but Chichi flinched away, the pain in her eyes an arrow to his heart. It hurt him to see her like this, but even worse was the fact that she flinched away from him as if afraid he would cause her harm. Gohan felt terrible, he was not this person, but once again his crazy hormones had him acting insane.

 

He took in his mother's trembling small form, and felt like a dick for pushing her like this. Gohan didn't know what had come over him, it was like after she insulted Piccolo and brought up his father again he'd lost it.

Gohan had always hated the fact that his mother seemed to be living in a fantasy world when it came to his father's callous actions, but to hear what she really felt and see the devastation she always pretended wasn't there-expressed freely, made him realized just how much his mother had been protecting him from, he watched helplessly, unable to do anything as she cried, weeping bitterly in front of him.  

Big, fat tear drops dripped down her pale face, as guilt ate away at him, squeezing his heart in agony for the suffering he'd caused her.

He regretted ever going there, for forcing his mother to relive all her pain.

Gohan had just been so _angry_ -at Vegeta, at himself, at the very thought of having to go to this stupid party and pretend he was normal when he'd never been normal in his life!

But he was wrong, none of this was her fault. His messed up saiyan instincts had nothing to do with his mother and gave him no right to take his bad mood out on her.

All she'd ever done was try to celebrate his _birthday_ , its not her fault her son was a dick. Gohan thought, feeling remorseful. 

Her words had broken his heart, he loved his mother and it angered him greatly that she truly felt she had no one else in the world. His father had let her down, it didn't matter if his mother could be a little loud or excessive, the Z-Fighters had no right to badmouth her and Gohan felt shame for the many times he'd stood by and allowed them to do so, joining in as his mother was made the butt of their jokes. 

 

"I'm sorry mom, I was wrong. I was frustrated and I took it out on you, I just get so tired of you insulting Piccolo and acting like dad was a saint! You have been the only one who has ever put our needs first. Saving the world may be all well and good, but I know if their was a choice between us and the world you would choose me and Goten." Gohan said softly, his dark brown eyes so like his mothers, were filled with remorse.

 

"You are a great mother, and atleast we know that no matter what happens you will never abandon us. Mom, I care about Piccolo, he is not a demon. When you call him that it hurts me, it makes me feel as if my own mother is against someone who has always had my back. Piccolo is my friend, and you don't have to like him mom but please stop being so hateful towards him, he's done nothing to deserve it."

 

"But--" Chichi started to say, but Gohan cut her off sharply. "--No buts, mom. Yeah Piccolo kidnapped me, but that was a long time ago, he also _died_ for me, but you never remember that part either!" Gohan reminded her.

"Give him a chance mom, I just need you to do this one thing for me, ok. He's the most innocent, shy, and sweet person I have ever _met,_ he is not the monster you imagine him to be, mom." Gohan stated earnestly, eyes tender, a small smile on his handsome face as a blush bloomed, staining his cheeks.

 

Chichi stared at her son in resignation,"He means that much to you huh, Gohan?" She asked, already knowing the answer. Her son was besotted with the green alien, she thought with a sigh. She knew that if she wanted to have any relationship with this assertive version of her newly teenage son she needed to deal with her issues with Piccolo. Chichi was not willing to lose her son, and from that determined glint in his eye, Gohan was not changing his mind or budging on the issue.

 

Chichi sighed in defeat, she would learn to accept the namek as Gohan's friend, but she couldn't wait till he got a girlfriend and outgrew this childish infatuation. It wasn't normal, and Chichi had a feeling of foreboding when she thought about how intense her son behaved when it came to the demo-I mean _alien_! 

"Ok Gohan, I'll try. I'm not perfect, I will make mistakes-but I will try." Chichi promised, she turned to her oldest son, he was so different from his father and her, but she was starting to see the man he would become, see the impact that a life lived fighting for his life and losing his father had on her son.

Chichi could now see the pain her son carried and the resentment, she had been wrapped up in her grief that she had been blind to it.

But now she was thankful for Gohan's outburst, thankful they'd finally cleared the air-they needed to put her husband's ghost to rest, to finally let Goku go, Chichi realized that it had been slowly poisoning them, turning them into people they didn't want to be.

"Thank you for confronting me, Gohan. I didn't realize how bottling it all in was hurting not only me but you too, When did you get so wise?" She asked in wonder, feeling as if she was seeing him for the first time.

"Piccolo, mom."

"It was actually him who sat me down and made me face my feelings about Father. He educated me about depression, taught me some meditation techniques, allowed me to vent with no judgement, and gave me a journal to express my feelings in a safe, controlled way. He's awesome mom! I'm slowly getting better because of him." Gohan said excitedly, eyes sparkling the more he talked about Piccolo.

"...or atleast I was." He mumbled to himself.

Chichi watched her son, his smile lighting up the room as he babble about how great Piccolo was, the jealousy that usually rose up at just the mention of her green-skinned enemy did not come, but a deep seated understanding that her son would never stop gushing about Piccolo, would always have that light in his eyes when he was brought up, took root.

Chichi shook her head, feeling conflicted-it galled her that the namekian had been there for her son when she couldn't, that her boy had confided in a creature she considered a monster, but she was happy and relieved that her son had had somebody there for him in his time of need. Maybe it was time to see what the Namek was all about, he had helped her son when even Chichi had failed him, so she would atleast try to reign in her instinctive reaction to insult and fight the Alien. It was the best she could do for now, baby steps-these things took baby steps.

 

"....As for dad, I've come to turns with my feeling for him, I have a lot of anger and resentment towards him that I'm working through. I've learned to forgive myself, and to take each day at a time. That's what you gotta do too mom, forgive yourself and move on."

Chichi gave him a teary smile, her son was really growing up! 

"But enough about that, let's head to Bulma's. It was good talking to you mom, about everything. I didn't know I needed that."

Chichi felt overwhelmed with love for her son, she rushed into his arms-giving him a tight hug. She was so proud of her boy, "I didn't know I needed it either, but I'm glad it happened. I want to talk about this again-when we have more time, is that ok?" She asked, this time not forcing her son to do what she wanted.

Gohan smiled gently, hugging his mother tight, "I would like that mom, I would like that a lot." He answered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note:  
> First chapter done! It's a little short but gets into Gohan's many issues. This takes place about a year after the Cell games, a year after Goku's death. Things are still fresh for everyone.  
> Right now Gohan and Piccolo are still just mentor and student. It won't get to a romantic tip till the time skip when Gohan is in highschool.  
> This is just laying the foundation for their relationship. You can say this is an alternative universe, a world where Goku's death left scars. A world where Gohan grew up dealing with loss, responsibility, plus confusing feelings for someone dear to him. This will not mirror canon nor will it bash anyone but it will make you think and discover our favorite characters in a new way!


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